He Said / She Said #1

Tales of Man vs Woman

UPDATE 18/09/16: Delighted to say this post has been selected as the featured post on #AnythingGoes linky on my first time linking up with Debbie (Random Musings) & Janet (Rambles, Rants and Writings) so thank you very much guys! Check out my featured badge 🙂

My Random Musings

 

UPDATE 10/07/16: I’m so happy to say this post has been chosen as the #BigPinkLink 22 featured post this week, happy days! Thank you to ThisMumsLife, Pink Pear Bear, Agent Spitback for picking me, featured badge proudly added 🙂

#BigPinkLink 22 featured ‘Wow of the Week’ blog

Pink Pear Bear

So I’m absolutely gonna come off the worst in this one but I thought I’d start this man v woman ding dong off by poking a bit of fun at ……myself 🙂  feck it, why not. It will however make me look a bit thick if I’m honest – or maybe I’ll let you guys be the judge of that.

So I’m going back to when The Missus was preggers with Nip#1 in 2010. We were also living in Cork at the time, not that that has anything whatsoever to do with the story!

Now, in my defence, before I became a Dad, I never had any exposure to new born babies. I’ve only one brother who doesn’t have children and none of my mates had kids at the time but that’s all changed for the majority of them at this stage. So zero access to babies. We had however, a beautiful golden labrador called Lumpy (who sadly is no longer with us) and she is key to the story.

Anyway, enough shite talk, let’s do it….

‘He Said’:

When The Missus told me she was pregnant, wow, what a feeling. I was on cloud nine and I couldn’t get off nor did I want too. I was signing up to every and any kind of ‘Mummy & Baby’ site I could locate (thanks to copious amounts of wine I might add).

Anyway, one day I decided I wanted to figure out how much nappies would cost per day/week. (It’s also worth noting that I self appointed this really important task to myself one night just to make it look like I was doing something!). Self justification is crystal clear when you’re on your forth or fifth glass of plonk.

So the next day I strolled into Dunnes in Ballincollig SC to check out the prices per pack. Just to repeat myself, remember I’ve never had any access to babies so the price of a packet of nappies was completely alien to me.

Anyway I worked it out in my head that the price was actually pretty reasonable. ‘Jayzus, that’s not too bad ya know‘ I said to the Missus when I found her – happy that I actually did something which was baby related. (I also picked up a 6 pack while I was in Dunnes, ya know while I was there like. Probably signed up to more ‘Mammy & Baby’ sites that night too).

How do you work that out?‘ said The Missus when I told her how much nappies would cost us.

Well, if ya feed the baby in the morning and then again in the evening, this will allow baba to shite once, possibly twice, so you just change the nappy twice a day to cover all angles, so that works out at roughly 57 cents per nappy so €1.14 per day’ (as I crack open a cold one feckin delighted with meself).

Ya bollox ya‘ she quickly replied. ‘Change a babies nappy twice in 24 hrs?! Where are ya getting that shite from?’. So it’s at this stage of the conversation that I’m starting to possibly think I might have fucked this one up (my only self appointed baby related task I might add). So I reply, ‘well come on now, sure I feed Lumpy once in the morning & then again at 6pm and sure she only shite’s once a day and sure look at her, ha’!

Moral of the story – if the dog gets fed twice and shits once, then naturally the baby gets two nappies a day….

…. Turns out I was wrong. Go figure.

VS

‘She Said’:

So there we were in Dunnes doing the shopping as you do. Ross was hanging out in the baby section which I thought was very cute – the ole daddy to be checking out baby products. To be fair as a first time mum to be I was busy researching all things baby such as what you need for your hospital bag, what to expect during the pregnancy, what to expect the first few weeks, what products are good for babies….I could go on and on.

But Ross hadn’t started on the ‘research’ thing – he was more than enthusiastic at the thought of baby coming but that’s where it stopped so it was lovely seeing him check out the baby section. Coming away he had a big grin on his face so I knew there was something going on. Then out he came with it – “Everyone always says how expensive nappies are but I’ve just checked it out and they’re not actually that expensive at all“…so intrigued I asked “how did you work that one out?”

When he told me his concept I nearly fell over laughing….you see Ross has come out with some humdingers but this one was classic Ross. “Two nappies per day” big smile still on his face….”That’s only 1.14 euro a day, about 8 euros a week – that’s not bad“…“Two nappies a day, where did you get that one from?” I replied …”Well we feed Lumpy twice a day and she only goes once so…..” and out come the rest. His face was full of eagerness and that kinda ‘look how good I’ve done’ but that didn’t stop me laughing.

So I had to put him straight, when he heard that sometimes you could go through 10 nappies a day, let’s just say to use his terms, he almost shit his pants ;o)


Proud to link up with ….

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Rhyming with Wine
Pink Pear Bear
My Random Musings

32 Comments Add yours

  1. Janet says:

    Haha, I love this! 2 nappies per day lol. Bless him, it really sounds like he was so pleased with himself too!

    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes

    Janet

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      Yeah, I was delighted with myself at the time and thought I’d cracked it – but no, no in reality I couldn’t have been more wrong haha. Ya live & learn right?! Thank you so much for selecting me as your featured post for week 62 of #AnythingGoes – truly humbled 🙂

  2. Ha ha, this is hilarious! If only it really was twice a day!
    #AnythingGoes #bigpinklink

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      Jeepers, if only !!!! So happy you laughed, it’s what I’d hope you’d do 🙂 Hope you come back to read more! Regards, Ross #AnythingGoes #BigPinkLink

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      Thank you so much Agent Spitback! You guys picked be as Wow of the Week blog – I am delighted, really am. There is a great buzz of of being chosen so thank you so much. I’ll be back this week too 🙂 #BigPinkLink

  3. What a funny post. Funny enough I’m pretty sure I had plenty of similar conversations with my husband. It’s always interesting to see the differences. #FartGlitter

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      Hey Sarah, yeah I think it’s the differences that make us work!! Glad you found it funny, many thanks and even happier to hear we are not alone in our topics! #FartGlitter. Thanks so much for popping by and leaving your comment 🙂

  4. Hahaha!!! Brilliant!!! I love the way we get the story from big perspectives, and I love the very down to earth ‘Irishisms’ thrown in-‘ya bollox’ made me snort!! I love the way you drunkenly signed up to all the mum and baby sites-my husband actually did something similar! And he had an app too, where I was given daily updates on how big the baby was, what we should’ve bought, what I should be eating etc, that I had no interest in…! I was a terrible first time mum to be, who did hardly any reading or preparation at all! I can totally see where you’re coming from though with your calculation-if you’ve had no experience of babies, it’s actually impossible to contemplate how much they poop!! My second poo’d every hour for the first 8 weeks… I thought it was going to kill me-I kept getting the health visitor over, convinced he had something wrong with his gut! I refused to believe it, every time she said it was perfectly normal for babies to poo that often?? That is NOT a normal amount to poo!!!!! Anyway, thanks for a great post, a big laugh, and for sharing with #bigpinklink!

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      That’s gas, sounds like your hubby & I are on the same vibe! Wine & Web can be dangerous partners in crime. Next morning, you check your emails and you’ve a stack from tons of sites you haven’t clue who they are, then the penny drops. Then you get the F-E-A-R, Agh Christ!, what in God’s name did I say on FB / Twitter last night !!!

      Yeah, I was like a deer in the headlights with regards to cost & consumption of nappies. The nearest comparison I had was….well the dog hahaha. But the babas, boy do they poo. Pooing every hour for 8 weeks – holy shit (excuse the terrible pun but ya know what I mean!). That’s just bananas! Our first daughter went a lot but I’m with you, every hour for 8 weeks can’t be ‘normal’ (whatever ‘normal’ is right?!).

      Thanks so much for commenting, I’m really glad you enjoyed it as much as you did, that has really made my day so thank you for that. #BigPinkLink

      (BTW I’ve just found a short video of me changing my first nappy (or one of them anyway) which I’m gonna put into a post now so what this space for a bit of a giggle).

  5. Naomi says:

    Haha. I was surprised by a lot when i had kids, too, but i have to say this one is so far off the mark I can’t compete. Hilarious. #FartGlitter

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      Hehe, thanks Naomi! Yeah, my comparison of the dog’s eating & toilet habits into number of nappies needed by a baby each day fairly made The Missus eyebrow rise when I first told her, it really was funny. Then the penny dropped! You live and learn as they say, I definitely did !! Thanks so much for your comment, regards, Ross. #FartGlitter

  6. Nige says:

    A brilliantly funny post and yes we are very different thanks for linking to the #binkylinky

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      Thank you very much Nige, glad you liked it. You’ve hit the nail on the head! Thanks for poping by & commenting, regards Ross #binkylinky

  7. Emily says:

    Haha, fab post! It’s funny how differently men & women think isn’t it! Thanks for linking up to the #BinkyLinky

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      It really is Emily – and for the most part even thought we are all very different as individuals, we are all quite similar if you get me?! Thanks very much for commenting, regards Ross #binkylinky

  8. James Hopes says:

    To be fair, you could just use 2 nappies per day, but it’s probably not advisable Expensive things are little people!! #fartglitter

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      Haha, you could indeed James, pretty sure The Missus would be having a word with me then though 🙂 !! Thanks for reading & commenting, regards, Ross #fartglitter

  9. Bit of a nasty shock when you realized, I’d imagine. Even with a two year old we’re still not down to two a day….and my bank balance reflects that.

    #fartglitter
    Mama, My Kid Doesn’t Poop Rainbows would luv you to read…The #FartGlitter Linky: Week Thirty OneMy Profile

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      It surely was a nasty shock and pretty much like your (or anyones) kids, let me tell you there sure as hell were no rainbows hidden in side those nappies!! Our youngest daughter is nearly 1 and two nappies p/d for her is laughable!! …. Oh my naivety hehe….now where’s that dog?!! #fartglitter

  10. Just the 10?!! I think our all time record was 16 in 24 hours. We didn’t leave the house that day…enjoyed reading this one for #fartglitter

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      16 in 24hrs?! Holy Sh*t !!! Yeah, never reached that level (yet!). Really glad you enjoyed reading it & thanks for commenting. Regards, Ross #fartglitter

  11. Gemma Colley says:

    This is brilliant. I love the way the blog is written in the he says she says style. You remind me so much of myself and my husband. To be fair I’m with you though I really didn’t realise how many times babies plop themselves daily, it’s an eye opener that’s for sure. Great post and I’ll look forward to seeing more from you. Gem (aka ColleysWobbles) #fartglitter

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      Thanks a million! Delighted you like the concept. We plan to make it a series, a regular oul spat between the difference between a mans mind & a womans mind – jazsus, it could be a long series haha. Yeah, I was clueless at the start, excited as hell but not a breeze had I. Sure I nearly put a nappy on the dog and fed the baby kibble one night haha! Really happy you like it, thanks for your comment. Cheers, Ross #fartglitter

  12. So happy to have come across your blog! I love the concept of the 2 POV!!!
    So funny the way you worked out the cost of nappies, comparing the future baby to the dog
    #FartGlitter

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      Thanks a million French Mummy! I’m happy to admit the ‘He Said / She Said’ concept was The Missus idea and it was a great one. Judging by the amount of comments left for me to reply to now, we weren’t the only ones – happy days! This happened years ago, it was so funny then and you know what, remembering it now for the blog was just as funny. Em, yeah sure Dogs & Babies = the same … right?! Apparently not haha! #BadDaddy 🙂 Thanks for reading my post on #FartGlitter & for the follow & RT’s on Twitter. Ross.

  13. Geraldine says:

    Hahahaha ahhh that is just classic! I love it! Men sorry but what are ye like 🙂 #BinkyLinky

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      Yeah I’m not sure Geraldine, we are a special breed haha. Thanks for popping by. Had a quick look at your blog, it’s looks great. And you’re in Dublin too – nice!! Chat soon, Ross #BinkyLinky

  14. Hahaha! That’s some funny ‘shit’ man!! If only you were right, we’d be quids in!! Or Euros in! #binkylinky

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      Hehe, yeah we would !!! I’ve been fired from looking after the family spending budget since then….not sure yet!!! (yeah right!!). Glad you liked it David, thanks for commenting. Cheers, Ross #BinkyLinky

  15. Lisa says:

    Haha it’s try men and woman are from totally different planet!!
    Great post!
    L X
    http://workingmumy.blogspot.com
    #BlinkyLinky

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      We really are !!! We even found my memory of the story VS The Missus memory of the story is slightly different !!! I ain’t a betting man but I’d stick a score on The Missus version being (slightly) more accurate hahahaha – Thanks a million for commenting Lisa #BinkyLinky

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