He cleans / She cleans

He said / She said
Tales of Man vs Woman !

So really this is #3 in the ‘He Said / She Said’ series albeit with a slight change to the title as you can see. Cleaning – agh now. Will the place ever be truly clean, will it? Hummmmm…..

Fizzling Fireboxes, let’s do this 🙂


Nutshell version: When we first started dating, I was living in Wexford and The Missus was living in Cork. Bit of a trek to see each other so we’d take turns driving up and down to each others houses. The Missus was on the way to me so naturally I had to clean the gaff before she arrived….or did I?!


Man from MarsHe Said: Now in all fairness – I need to make two things crystal clear:

(i) I do not see dirt / dust unless it’s poking me in the face

&

(ii) I do not see dirt / dust unless it’s poking me in the face

Ya with me?!!!

So, picture it – new GF – impressions must be made – drinks must be bought – food must be stocked up – clothes must be washed – & the gaff must be cleaned etc etc.

It was early-ish and The Missus was coming up to me on Friday for the weekend. So muggins here went to town on the cleaning of the gaff. Lumpy (our dog at the time) hadn’t a feckin clue what had gotten into me. Normally it would take an explosion of massive proportions to get me to move my ass and hoover and here I was cleanin my ass off. (I always find my buddy wine helps me to see (or not see in my case) the dirt while doing this btw).

Anyway, no joking, I hoovered, I cleaned, I polished, I washed the dishes, I mopped, I changed the bed sheets – the whole fuckin shabang yeah. Top to tail, I was delighted with myself. I knew what I was gonna cook for munchies and I had enough gargle to drown an alcho. Saddle me up and call me Shergar.

There was a small matter of me having to get a camera poked down me throat before we did anything else that day and The Missus had agreed to drive and collect me as I’d be on cloud nine for a while. So she dropped me off and we said our good-byes, see ya later, kissy kissy thing and off she went.

Or so I thought…..

At the time when I was collected, I was non the wiser but with time it all slipped out. She only went back to the gaff to feckin clean it ‘properly’ after dropping me off!!! ‘Huh?!’ I said, ‘Sure I spent like 3-4 hours cleaning the gaff before you got here. What cleaning?, sure the place is spotless’.

Em No…. it turns out it wasn’t 🙁

Skirting Boards yeah. Fuckin Skirting Boards!

Ya have to remember we were only seeing each other a month or two at this stage. So I said, ‘Sure nobody looks at the skirting boards!! Dust on them? You’re pulling the piss right? Sure next you’re gonna tell me that you look at peoples shoes too?!’ (She does btw).

Bit by bit, as The Missus pointed out parts to me that I had em, missed and she had em, well, not missed (for the record, she had zero wine). Only then did I see the difference – but not without saying to myself ‘FFS, No body looks at that shit!!) – well done, nice spot.

The Stented Wan 0 – The Missus 1.

We did have a great laugh about it when we eventually sat down – on the antiseptic foil she had wrapped the couches / dog / chair / toothbrush in.

Agh, young love wha?! 🙂

 

Woman from VenusShe said: So it’s fair to say that I was slightly OCD before kids – I loved nothing more than a tidy home. When I started dating Ross we were living quite a bit away from each other so we spent a lot of time travelling back and forth to see each other. Early on Ross had to go into hospital for a day procedure so he asked me to drive him there and back as he couldn’t drive himself. I was happy to do it although I did have an ulterior motive….. As soon as I dropped him off, I headed straight to Dunnes and picked up some cleaning products. I headed back to his place and spent the whole afternoon cleaning! I could have done more but I had to pick him up again.

I’m sure he thought “what a nutter” but I was very happy – in particular the shirting boards had about an inch of dust on them which was killing me for ages. I’m happy to say that my OCD has left me – it was worn down bit by bit, first by Ross, then our dog Lumpy, then Nip#1, Noodles the Toodle and finally Nip#2. I’d be exhausted if I wanted our house to be showroom perfect now – I’d rather spend my energy on the floor playing with the kids!

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53 Comments Add yours

  1. I wouldn’t say I’m a huge clean freak (only in the kitchen and the bathroom) but I think I probably would have noticed the skirting boards – I’m not sure I’d have actually gone so far as too clean them though lol
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
    Debbie
    Random Musings would luv you to read…Blogger Spotlight: Over, Under and ThroughMy Profile

    1. Hey Debbie, Yeah, I’m kind of on your page. I’ve gotten so much better with the kitchen / living area & utility room. But I tend to forget about the rest of the rooms in the house!! Once I clean & tidy the kitchen / living room I’m delighted with myself and I do something else then!! I’m also a ‘pile’ merchant. I love a good pile of stuff. To me, it’s much better that having it all scattered all over the place but it drives The Missus nuts but I haven’t a clue why that is?!! Thanks for commenting & reading, Regards, Ross. #AnythingGoes

  2. Haha! It’s impossible not to laugh along with this post. Everyone has their own views on what is clean / not clean. But there seems to be much of a divide between what the boys think clean is, in comparison to the girls. I once knew someone that would send their hubby out with the baby so she could give the place a good and proper clean. You lucky thing having someone who wanted to clean up for you. Thank you for sharing with the #DreamTeam
    Annette, 3 Little Buttons would luv you to read…#DreamTeam Linky 25My Profile

    1. Hey Annette, some how I missed this comment until now, I’m very sorry about that! Love that you laughed with this one, happy days! We really are that different. It’s a Mars vs Venus situation for sure. Kicking the Dada & Baba out to clean is a good one! I was lucky The Missus wanted to do a super clean but the ironic & funny thing was when I got back from the hospital that day, I didn’t notice hahahaha !!!! She had to tell me 🙂 Agh men what?! Regards, Ross #DreamTeam

  3. My Hubby doesn’t see dirt/mess/dust/the item he has spent and hour looking for that is right in front of his face! Unless it’s pokes his eye out. We have diffent ideas of what is clean too…. I’m not sure I would concider myself OCD but I bet he would.
    Very funny read!
    #BloggerClubUK

    1. Hey Kirsty, some how I missed your comments on my posts until now – eek! So Sorry. Word Press (for some reason) auto approves certain comments and therefore they don’t appear under ‘pending’. Thankfully I’ve just come across 2 of yours. Sounds like your hubby is me haha! Also you and The Missus sound the same too 🙂 I’ve gotten a lot better with the cleaning but it’s never as clean as The Missus clean! But I never find things, ever. I’ll have a quick look, then ask The Missus has she any idea where X is and she’ll just walk in, open the first press and there is it. Glad you liked the post, thanks so much for reading & commenting. Regards, Ross #BloggerClubUK

  4. Claire says:

    Hahaaa! This is hilarious! My husband just doesn’t care about cleaning and freely admits it. So frustrating!

    1. Delighted you liked it Claire, thanks a million!! I use to be your husband but I’d clean up every now and then. If I did, The Missus would be blown away! But I’ve become a regular little cleaning machine since becoming a SAHD – but it is my version of clean which is no where near The Missus version but I’m trying 🙂 Thanks for commenting. Regards, Ross

  5. Nige says:

    Amazing how once you have children lots of things go out the window great read Thanks for linking to the #binkylinky please come back next week

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      It really is! Having said that, I’ve never been mad on cleaning so in a bizarre twist of events, since becoming a Dad, I’ve ‘picked up’ cleaning (ish!). Glad you like it. Will of course be back next week. Cheers Nige, Ross. #binkylinky

  6. Love this! Although I must confess that ti’s the other way round in our marriage. My husband works away for ten weeks at a time and I used to spend a good two days cleaning the house top to bottom before he came home only for him to clean it again the very next day. Now we have two kids (who always know Daddy’s coming home by the cleaning frenzy) the cleaning has been shortened to one day because lets face it they just destroy it all again anyway. He also comments that the house looks better than ever every time too so I guess having kids has dropped his standards somewhat! Weirdly we also have a dog called Lumpy, get very strange looks calling her in the park and at the vets!
    #BinkyLinky

    1. The Missus The Missus says:

      I’ve just returned from another work week in SF, the third in the last 3 months. Ross cleans really well before I come home but I know how quickly the girls can pull the place apart so I don’t expect the place to be perfect. That is mad that your dog is called Lumpy – we found that people were very mixed about the name. 50% thought it was very cool and the other 50% thought is was just plain mad #BinkyLinky

  7. Ana says:

    The biggest fight I have with my husband (next year we will be together for 20 years) is that he refuses to use the vacuum cleaner. That’s 20 years of struggle…
    #BinkyLinky

    1. The Missus The Missus says:

      Well you made it 20 years in so I guess there are right when they say people don’t change. I can tell you that I only recently showed Ross where the filter in the vacuum cleaner is. I try to pull the hoover apart once a year and wash out every part of it (it’s a dyson so easy enough to do). Sadly I would definitely do it more often if I had the time. #BinkyLinky

  8. Absolutely this!!! My husband will “clean” which basically means run the hoover round while making big piles of “stuff” for me to move later on. Usually he puts these piles on the stairs so I trip over them later. I’m far from OCD but his cleaning and my cleaning are poles apart!! #binkylinky

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      Yeeeesssss – your hubby is ME !! & you are The Missus (as in my Missus!!!) Hilarious 🙂 I do the exact same thing. I pile things together to make them look neater and then move piles from A to B and I leave different piles on the stairs (& in other places). No messing, we are the same!! Absolutely brilliant. I’m sure The Missus might comment on your message also. I’ve gotten a great kick out of this, thanks for leaving your comment. Regards, Ross #binkylinky

    2. The Missus The Missus says:

      Ross is so right- that is him to a T! His ability to put things into various piles around the house is indeed astounding and sometimes I even thing it might take more time to do it than actually clean/put things away properly. He really has improved a lot around the house but his side of the bed is still a no-go zone. There are piles and piles which tend to get sorted out once a month or so but I just try not to look at his side ;o) #binkylinky

  9. Alan Herbert says:

    Sounds like my house.

    I clean the floors some nights and wake up to Mrs OMG cleaning them. She doesn’t believe me when I say I did them last night.

    I do hoover the skirting boards though whilst doing the floors.

    #bigpinklink
    Alan Herbert would luv you to read…From The Mouths of Babes 1My Profile

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      Haha, I’ve done that, cleaned the floor and when The Missus comes in she’s say something like, ‘really need to clean the floor’ !!!! Funny. You do hoover the skirting boards – fair play man, even now I struggle with that one. Thanks a million for reading & commenting, regards, Ross. #bigpinklink

    2. The Missus The Missus says:

      As Ross said I really have done that in the past and on more than one occasion! There is a big difference between Ross-clean and Mel-clean although the gap is closing in since Ross became a SAHD. #bigpinklink

  10. Hahaha…another rib tickling hilarious post. I must say that my husband and I tend to see “dirt” in different places, so i guess that makes us complementary. #bigpinklink
    Agent Spitback would luv you to read…Unknown Virus Turning Mothers into “Football Hooligans”My Profile

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      Thanks a million Agent Spitback, so glad you found it funny. What you & your hubby have by seeing the dirt in different places actually sounds like the best solution if ya ask me, each person completes the picture. Nice. Thank you so much for commenting again, really appreciate it. Regards, Ross.

    2. The Missus The Missus says:

      Oh how lovely – that sounds like a dream come true #bigpinklink

  11. Love this. The Mrs. and I have two ideals of clean. I come from a militant OCD houshold and she comes from, well, entitlement (said with love). Remarkably, I have loosened up over the years and she gets bouts of the ‘tidies’ and whirrs around the apartment in a tizzy. This scene is all to familiar. Now we work on clean underwear, and making memories…seems best for all.
    Great post! #fartglitter #bigpinklink

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      We absolutely have two ideals of clean for sure. What I consider clean and what The Missus considers clean are very different but I’m improving bit by bit. I like your style, clean underwear and making memories, happy days! Glad so loved the post, thanks for commenting. Cheers, Ross (you are also the first person to include two linkies hashtags so highfive for that!) #fartglitter #bigpinklink

    2. The Missus The Missus says:

      Oh I definitely get bouts of the ‘tidies’ as you call it too! I will literally run around the house like someone possessed. But it is honestly not happening as much. Nip#1 is pretty good a cleaning so she joins in – my deep cleaning may have rubbed off on her as the first time she cleaned her chair, she spent a good 20mins on it! To be fair the is not a regular occurrence but we are happy to have her learn what chores are. #fartglitter #bigpinklink

  12. This is true for me and my hubby! Brilliant! #FartGlitter
    Our Cherry Tree would luv you to read…Party Planning – Rainbow Party WishlistMy Profile

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      So happy you liked it & can relate to it. We are not alone in our mindsets so!! Thanks for reading & commenting, Regards, Ross #fartglitter

    2. The Missus The Missus says:

      We thought we probably weren’t alone in this – glad to see so many couples like us ;o) #FartGlitter

  13. Haha love this! Isn’t it funny how prim and proper we are when we first start seeing somebody.
    Then years down the line, it’s like, oh sod that shit, i’ll do it tomorrow!
    Couldn’t agree more with Mel though, spending time with the kids is definitely top of the list 🙂

    Thanks so much to both of you for being part of #MMBC. Hope to see you next week!
    Jayne @ Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs would luv you to read…Planning The Perfect Picnic with Emma BridgewaterMy Profile

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      I love your first point Jayne cause it’s so true! Yeah, Mel has it right, playtime first, cleaning second. The Nips are a messy pair all the same so I try to retain some sort of calm & tidiness around the gaff, when possible! Delighted to be part of #MMBC, will defo see you next week. Cheers, Ross.

    2. The Missus The Missus says:

      It is funny when you look back at it, All I can think of now is ‘Wow do you remember how much time we used to have to do stuff like that’ #MMBC

  14. Hahah!! I love the different ideas of clean. Unfortunately/ fortunately, depending how you view it, my husband is a bit of a clean freak so it’s me that gets told off for not cleaning thoroughly enough (I would like to point out I am very clean, he is just excessive) But I agree, I would much rather be playing with the children then cleaning the skirting boards, which I must admit I have never cleaned. opps! 🙂
    #MMBC
    rootsandwingsparenting would luv you to read…Expectations and DefinitionsMy Profile

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      The definitely are different that’s for sure!! The Mars / Venus comparison is extremely apt for this post. However, in my defence, I am getting better if I’m honest but at the same time, I could leave it go for a while and that wouldn’t really bother me either 🙂 But being with the Nips, I do try and keep the place tidy at least, but playing always comes first. Thanks for commenting. Regards, Ross

    2. The Missus The Missus says:

      I hear ya – so Ross will approach cleaning sometimes with a warning that it’s not going to be ‘Mel-clean’ #MMBC

  15. Sonia says:

    Funny! Sounds familiar! J lived in a shared ‘boys’ house when we first met, luckily for him one of them was really domesticated and basically cleaned and tided- we called him Mum! He wouldn’t know dust until it bit him on the bum!! #MMBC

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      Wow, he was lucky to have a ‘Mum’ in the gaff to do those sort of chores! When I was in college, we didn’t!!! Thanks so much for reading & commenting. Regards, Ross #MMBC

    2. The Missus The Missus says:

      I have regularly been the ‘mum’ in different living arrangements. The one thing I will say though is that I have always asked whoever I live with to do the cooking as I really dislike cooking. #MMBC

  16. This is awesome. It’s similar in my house too. Although I really never look at the baseboards, and I rarely wipe them down. Sometimes I wish I had more time for cleaning. These days it’s just sweeping after eating and keeping the kitchen clean. The rest collects a good bit of dust.
    #MMBC
    Jessica Foley would luv you to read…E-cloth reviewMy Profile

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      Haha, I hear ya Jessica, loud & clear!! Sweeping after food (Nip#2 is the messiest eater ever) & keeping the kitchen clean is a never ending task! However, I must respectably disagree with one thing – I defo do not wish for more time to do the cleaning!!! If I’m gonna wish for anything, it’ll be more time for me to do something I love hehe!!!! Thanks so much for reading & commenting, Regards, Ross

    2. The Missus The Missus says:

      I absolutely hear ya on the more time for cleaning thing. I literally have to remind myself that there are more important things in life and name them – that normally makes me feel better about the sheer lack of time, ability, stamina to get it done. #MMBC

  17. Michelle says:

    I wasn’t a clean freak but I was all about organizing things and having everything in order. I mean I alphapatized my movie shelf and had them organized according to genre. I did the same to my book shelf and my kitchen was always spotless. My carpets were never dirty. Now,though, I’m lucky if I even remember where the movie shelf is in the house as I never get to watch them now. There are always dishes in the sink and I almost never even see my carpet as there always seems to be toys everywhere. EVERYWHERE! This was a fun post to read! #bigpinklink

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      I could be forgiven if I thought your comment was actually written by The Missus!! You & Mel are kindred souls I feel!!! Now I’m a SAHD trying to stay on top of the gaff is a never ending pain in the bo**ox 🙂 !!! Toys absolutely everywhere, especially since Nip#1 got her summer holidays. Glad you got a giggle from my post, thanks a million for commenting. Regards, Ross #bigpinklink

    2. The Missus The Missus says:

      It’s true I love organising too!!! But just like you my organising days are not what they used to be. My label maker now sits lonely on a shelf in the office ;o)) #bigpinklink

  18. Yeah, skirting boards are not something I used to check but I find every time I clean something else filthy catches my eye. I do draw the line at windows though!

    #fartglitter
    Mama, My Kid Doesn’t Poop Rainbows would luv you to read…The #FartGlitter Linky: Week Thirty SixMy Profile

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      Yeeeeesssss, I am not the only one – jackpot !!!!! I now get that also, i.e. cleaning and then see other dirty parts where as me pre nips, I wouldn’t have given a monkeys about it. Funny how we change after nips! Thanks again for commenting, regards, Ross.

    2. The Missus The Missus says:

      I have been like this my entire life – even as a kid I liked cleaning and was pretty good at it. Now we have kids I would literally go with things I love to ensure we can afford the cleaner. Although my savings haven’t quite stretched to buying a Dyson cordless yet but I will get there. #lifelonggoals #fartglitter

  19. Haha my step dad comes in to the house and looks at the bloody skirting boards! He does it to wind me up!! This made me chuckle. Don’t priorities change after kids? #fartglitter xx
    Sarah Howe @runjumpscrap would luv you to read…HoudiniMy Profile

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      Hey Sarah, agh he must be trying to wind you up!! I thought it was just the weirdest thing when The Missus told me about it first! And yep, priorities absolutely change after the nips arrive- and all for the better too! Thanks for commenting again. Regards, Ross #fartglitter

    2. The Missus The Missus says:

      I must admit I do notice them in everyone’s house although I don’t go so far as to mention them. I watched an episode of Grand Designs where a house was designed without skirting boards…..#saddreamscometrue #FartGlitter xx

  20. My boyfriend (now husband) had a hole in his wall and slept on a mattress on the floor. That was just the tip of the iceberg….it was 5 boys in a Uni share house…ya get me?! Loved reading this!! So so true!!! #FartGlitter
    Mummy Muckups (Anna) would luv you to read…WHY I CRIED WATCHING ‘OFFSPRING’My Profile

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      Haha, that’s gas cause in college, I too had my mattress on the floor so hell yeah, I get you big time hehe!!!!! Us men aren’t really that different when you boil us down 🙂 Delighted you loved reading my post, happy days! Thanks for swinging by & commenting, regards, Ross.

    2. The Missus The Missus says:

      It never ceases to amaze me what grown men can be comfortable with. I wouldn’t be able to sleep if there was a hole in the wall – I would fix that right up just for peace of mind. Thanks for commenting #FartGlitter

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