When exhaustion strikes

Exhaustion

17th October 2016 – I’ll never get tired of waking up to be told you’re a featured blogger on a linky!

Mackenzie Glanville thank you!! Brilliant tweet to see first thing on a Monday morning 🙂

And there’s the badge to prove it hehe 🙂

Reflectionsfromme

Huh? Wait a minute? What the fuck was that?!

BOOM – like a size 9 pair of Dr. Martins into me jimmies (that’s my balls incase you’re wondering) this feeling attacked me & infiltrated my entire system from the ends of my ever thinning hair right down to the tips of my toes and every crevasse in between.

Holy shit bags batman – ya see, in all 38 years of my existence on this planet, I’d never had the pleasure of ‘this’ ever before (whatever ‘this’ was at the time – remember it was completely new to me).

It was last Friday (16th Sept) & I was like a bear with a sore arse that had an itch I couldn’t scratch. Not a good combination my friends, not good at all. Normally, this is not how I role. Sure I have my moments like anyone else, but they are few and far between and that’s how I like it to be. My default is not angry, it’s happy, it’s positive etc etc. But not when ‘this’ hit. It’s like ‘this’ just tapped me on the shoulder and said, ‘Hey there buddy, don’t mind me but I’m here to fuck your shit up for a wee bit yeah, and there’s Sweet FA you can do about it pal!‘.

Exhausted & GrouchyAround bed time (the witching hour) Nip#1 was being bold, not doing a single thing I’d asked. Nothing. Now I’m not happy to admit this, but I blew a fuse for about 15 to 20 seconds big style. I shouted…and it was loud. The Missus was working in the office, heard my raised voice, and she came out immediately and just said ‘Step away, go‘ to which I replied ‘this has been going on for ages, and I’ve had enough‘ (ages = 3/4 days max btw) and I stormed up the stairs. Then the guilt hit me like a ton of bricks.

My Mum passed away many years ago, but I’ll always remember when she said ‘Never hate anything or anybody, hate is such a strong word. You might strongly dislike something, but never hate it‘ . Wise words and she was 100% spot on. But I do hate it when I get annoyed with Nip#1 because she is such a good kiddo. There are no blinkers on here, she genuinely is. I’m so so proud of her and her attitude and approach to life. I mean, the biggest issues we have with her right now is she doesn’t listen, has recently learned how to say ‘No, I won’t‘ and she refuses to eat the majority of dinners we serve her – bar that, she’s a model child. Normal 4 yr old practise right?

But I was wrecked, so wrecked in fact I didn’t realise just how wrecked I actually was. I’d hit the wall. BOOM. On average, I’m ‘working’ a 17-18 hour day each day. Don’t get me wrong, this is not a complaint, I absolutely love it normally but these are the hours being a SAHD or SAHM requires – it ain’t no 9-5er.

Turns out I wasn’t the only one who was wrecked. Nip#1 had started big school three weeks ago and her classes of swimming, ballet & singing had re-commenced last week. It was a new routine for us both after the summer holidays and it just hit me like a sledge hammer when Nip#1 wasn’t playing ball with my requests. It goes without saying, her being knackered played a big part of the situation too. It was however, the straw that broke this camels back.

Myself and Nip#1 made up fast and were best buddies again but behind the smile, I was so down. I felt absolutely terrible – guilty over how I reacted, guilty over shouting, guilty that The Missus had to tell me to walk away. I’ve zero problem admitting that I cried, I cried a lot and it was like every ounce of energy, bounce, normal sense of me was M.I.A. and the scary thing was it all happened so fast. Obviously this (unknown) pressure was building over a number of weeks but even earlier that day I felt normal albeit tired. So when I say fast, it’s in the sense of one thing not going according to plan followed by the rest going to pot! This shite feeling lasted for about 36 hours ish before I finally snapped out if it. Fuck me. Horrible feeling.

When The Missus was doing her SAHM thing during her maternity leave, she’s got exhausted. And I never fully got it. Maybe that’s the man’s default when they have never been at the point. And while I was sympathetic and tried to help out, I always thought ‘sure I know how tired you are, it can’t be that bad’ – boy was I wrong and further to that point, I’m happy to admit just how wrong I was.

So today, I’m back to normal largely thanks for The Missus for taking the Nips away from me over the weekend. That was what my body & mind needed and now it’s all systems back to normal and ready to take on the world. But I’ve learned & now realise how important it is to make time for yourself.

How many of you SAHD’s & SAHM’s have experienced complete exhaustion? Please comment below as I really want to hear from you and how you recovered. Personally, it’s something I seriously hope to never experience again but time will tell on that one I guess.

BTW – Just to clarify, I need to mention this type of exhaustion is nothing like the exhaustion you feel after a 3 day bender pre kids where you can just chill out on the sofa watching Netflix stuffing your face with pizza & jellies to get yourself back to normal. Oh no, this is a whole different ball game altogether!!


Delighted to link up with…

The Diary of an 'Ordinary' Mum
Reflections From Me
3 Little Buttons
Sparkles & Stretchmarks Sunday Best
My Random Musings

 

20 Comments Add yours

  1. I’m not a parent so I’ve never reached this stage thankfully. It sounds awful and I think you did the right thing by taking some time out for yourself and coming back refreshed
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
    Debbie
    Random Musings would luv you to read…Blogger Spotlight: The Mindful Mummy MissionMy Profile

    1. Taking a break – so I’m come to realise & understand – is crucial to the body/mind/soul. I never fully got it before when The Missus was exhausted. I’d always just say, ‘if you’re knackered, why don’t you just go to bed?’ Silly me. Sorry wifey!! Now I get it. You need that time to yourself to centre and take stock. You live & learn right?! Thanks for reading & commenting Debbie. Regards, Ross #AnythingGoes

  2. Brandi Puga says:

    I think i have been tired since my first pregnancy 9 years ago! Add 4 more pregnancies and a part time job+ blogging like a mad hatter…..Holy crap I’m tried just typing! #AnythingGoes

    1. Holy crap is right !!!! Jesus you are some woman, fair play to you! 9 years is a hell of a long time to suffer from ‘TATT’ as my mates would call me (that’s for Tired all the Time btw :-)). Thanks for staying away to read my post about wanting to fall asleep anywhere hehe. Regards, Ross #AnythingGoes

  3. Sarah - mud cakes and wine says:

    It’s hard and suddenly hits you. I am at home with three boys one who also have type 1 diabetes and it is a type of tired you just can not explain #sundaybest

    1. Hi ya Sarah, agreed especially with the ‘suddenly hits you’ part as that is exactly my experience. I’m permanently tired but you can survive and operate normally in that state as you get use to it. That day, I was just in a heap and I was thinking ‘this ain’t right’. It was only when The Missus saw me and I explained how I was feeling she said ‘you’re exhausted’!! 3 boys and 1 with diabetes must take every ounce of energy, fair play to you, you have my utter respect. Thanks for commenting. Regards, Ross. #SundayBest

  4. Ok I am back! What I had written was I am totally feeling what you have said here! My newly 7 year old has been driving me crazy lately and I feel so guilty for feeling this way, but I am mentally exhausted and finding it hard to not lose the plot! I had days of migraines last week and my poor boy was home with conjunctivitis and now has the slap cheek virus. So I know he is tired, sick and bored and his misses his friends so I feel bad for feeling so frustrated. I know this will pass, I love hi beyond words, I am just tired! Hope you have great week

    1. Hey Mackenzie, sorry for the delay in getting back to you, your comment ended up in my spam!!!! No idea why. I hear ya, patience can lose it’s normal place during times like this, trust me on that (and I’m fairly patient normally). But when you are under the weather and they are too, agh man, it’s a car crash waiting to happen despite your best intentions! Keep the chin up and I hope your son gets better soon, being cooked up indoors does their heads no good. I’ve also suffered from migraines in the past and holy shit, they are unbearable so I feel your pain. Thanks so much for adding your comment twice, especially when your patience is being tested elsewhere hehe 🙂 Regards, Ross #mg

  5. Helena says:

    When I find myself struggling I ask hubby to step in. Making time for yourself is so important. #mg

    1. It really is Helena, The Missus does the same thing for me which I’m very grateful for. Thanks for reading & commenting, Regards, Ross. #mg

  6. I hear you! SAHP is the hardest job in the world not only because it is physically exhausting, but it is emotionally exhausting too. You deserve a mini break every now and then, that is the only way to retain some sanity. Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink
    Agent Spitback would luv you to read…To The Child Who Will Not SleepMy Profile

    1. Agent Spitback, great to hear from you again – hope all’s good with you. It is the hardest job in the world, there is no off button and when you get to sleep, it’s never proper sleep is it?! Mini-break – agreed and I’m just about to look at the calendar to see when can we realistically get away again. Thanks a million for reading & commenting, chat soon. Regards, Ross #bigpinklink

  7. I have no idea how much this type of exhaustion can affect you as I’m not a parent but I love your post. I’d love to say it will never happen again but with 2 nieces, 2 nephews, 3 godsons and countless friends with children, I’ve probably heard my fair-share of experiences of similar occurrences. Try not to be too hard on yourself, sounds like your daughter is amazing and you have a fantastic relationship. But we’re all also only human – it’s your honesty in admitting this that will help yourself and other parents get through the tough times! #mg

    1. Hey Lins, what an amazing comment to leave – you’ve made me smile, thank you! And you are absolutely spot on, both my daughters are amazing little girls who make me laugh & smile daily. That beats exhaustion any day – well except when exhaustion beats the crap out of you first haha!!! Thanks so much for reading & commenting, Regards, Ross #mg

  8. Claire says:

    I find I get this way maybe once a month or so, (not a monthlies joke btw!) and it really is so hard. Every fibre of your being is just done. I always find some space is all I really need to reset. I’m glad this was so foreign to you, I wouldn’t wish feeling this way on anyone, but unfortunately it is pretty common. At least we can all stick together! xx #bigpinklink (ps love your writing style! very funny!)

    1. Hey Claire, thanks for making me laugh immediately – monthlies!!! And your comment ‘Every fibre of your being is just done’ is exactly how I felt. It was nuts. And space is exactly what The Missus helped me out with by taking the girls and it worked a treat. So I’m now running on about 30% each morning that runs down to about 10% by bedtime but I tell ya, it’s a lot better the 0% or -% even 🙂 !!! Thanks a million for commenting. Regards, Ross #BigPinkLink (BTW love that you love my style, nice one!!!!!)

  9. Lisa says:

    I know exactly how you feel 🙁

    It hits everyone!

    Lx
    http://workingmumy.blogspot.com
    #BigPinkLink

    1. Thanks Lisa !!! It was mental as I’d never experienced it before. Not sure I want to again but I’m pretty sure that’s not gonna happen !!! Thanks for commenting, Regards, Ross #BigPinkLink

  10. Deirdre says:

    To be honest I’m feeling more exhausted since I went back to work a few weeks ago. I don’t want to take too much time out at the weekend for myself because I don’t see my son from 7am -5pm Mon-Fri and it breaks my heart.
    When I was a SAHM for 13 months I didn’t feel as bad taking a day to myself the odd weekend.
    But the bills have to be paid.

    1. The Missus The Missus says:

      Oh I hear you! I have often wanted to stay in bed a bit later however I’m half awake in the bed and I hear the girls having fun with Ross….although I know I need to rest I can’t help but get up. I want to be with my girls as much as possible, I want them to know that mummy is there for them. It is exhausting trying to do everything and I can honestly say that my welfare is last on my list. The girls are the priority and then Ross, then work and somewhere after that I try to find or rather squeeze in time for me. The bills most definitely have to be paid and there has to some balance….it’s just not easy. I spend time day-dreaming about winning the lotto and having the freedom to spend as much time as I like with my family…but then I snap out of it and reality kicks in – all we can do is make the most of it. That said, us mums have to remember to look after ourselves.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge