Reality Bites – I’m Stuck in a Rut

Stuck in a Rut

I’ve just checked the date I last posted a new blog – bloody hell Rosser – that is not what I want to be at. It defo is not the standard I’ve set myself for sure. Time to pull your socks up sunshine.

The problem is I’m struggling. Struggling at nearly everything if I’m honest and as a result, I’m not doing anything well. I’m doing enough to just about tick the boxes – just about.

Compared to 6 months ago, today:

  • I’m not blogging the way I was or at the level I want to
  • I’m not running at all really (had gotten up to 10km end of June)
  • I’m not eating as well as I was (considering I’ve 4 stents)
  • I’m not on top of our eating schedule
  • I’m not on top of the washing
  • I’m not arranging enough playdates (for Nip#1)
  • I’m not making enough time for me to chill

Honestly? There’s just not enough time for me right now. And it’s not like I’m sitting down scratching me hole, I’m always on the move with the Nips or cooking or tidying the gaff. Yet, come the end of the evening when I’ve all great intentions to get X,Y,Z done, I’m just too bolloxed to execute.

Having said all that, I’m genuinely not losing sleep about it. It’s a gift I have. For those of you who are regular readers, you’ll have read that I can sleep anywhere, anytime.

Tired Parents?So what the hell is the problem?

Pretty sure it boils down to two things:

  • Sleep – I’m not getting enough sleep. More to the point, enough quality uninterrupted sleep. I’m just waking up wrecked.
  • Me time – I haven’t prioritised time for me at all really despite numerous requests from The Missus to do so. Godshite.

Why?

First off, pretty sure nearly every parent has these issues so I’m certainly not special here. If you don’t have them, you lucky buggar you!!

Nip#1 comes into our bed a good 5 nights a week if not more. And my good God is she a wriggler. One minute her head is stuck into your chest, 5 mins later, you’ve a foot in your face!! All night long people, all fucking night long 🙁 !!!!!

And Nip#2 is back waking up once if not twice most nights. Awake for her bottle yeah. ‘Bop-Boooooop‘ at 2.37am. Normally it happens just after I’ve gotten back to sleep following a swift kick to the nuts by Nip#1 but nah agh, Nip#2 has other ideas. It’s like she has the camera on me, not the other way around. Jayzus sakes. And holly Christ can she roar!

Boooop-Booooooooooop‘ – ‘Yep, yeah, I hear ya, coming sweetheart‘.

As for the ‘me time‘ thing, I just want to be with the Nips & have as much fun as humanly possible. I’m so aware that every day with them is so amazing yet unbelievably precious. You don’t get that time back so I want to enjoy & savour it while I can.

Downside is I’m human. At some point, I need a break. I’m not a machine. I’m just not good at the ‘making time for me‘ buzz. And every now and again I crack because of it. Having said that, two weeks ago I joined a group Ukulele lessons session every Monday evening and it’s the absolutely business. And in the New Year, I’m going to join Toastmasters to help with the oul public speaking buzz so I’m looking forward to that.

ExhaustionExhaustion??

A while ago I wrote about exhaustion and I though I’d escaped its clutches. I have though. I think? I really don’t thing it’s exhaustion this time, it’s more like it’s dick-head cousin that has come to visit but has long outstayed their welcome.

‘But you’re not going yet are you? You’re hanging around like a bad smell aren’t ya? I think it’s time you politely fucked off now – ya hear’.

If you pushed me for a description of what’s going on, I’ve have to say ‘Modern Family Life’. Don’t get me wrong here, I still absolutely love the #SAHD life & have zero plans to change it but I’d be lying if I’d said I wasn’t feeling a bit knackered, a bit jaded & in bad need a decent sleep. Copious amounts of uninterrupted sleep for numerous days in fact.

Sweet FA chance of that happening but !!!

OK, so what now?

Time for Change

So here’s where I turn a negative into a positive. Time to change. Bull by the horns, grab & go.

Ukulele lessons – As I said, I’ve started group lessons every Monday evening in a well known Dublin pub called The Stags Head. And it’s absolutely class. 2 hours of learning, mingling, playing & singing.

Meditation – I’ve started to listen to my headspace app again. Not every day, more like every second day but I’ll get back to every day very soon. I was also invited to attend a workshop last week called ‘You’re a Parent‘ and it was absolutely class. My review will go live soon. But I also downloaded the audio MP3 to go with it and I’ve listened to that a few times. Benefits are already starting to show.

Sleep – Using my Fitbit, I’ve set a new sleeping routine. I’ll get a notification 30 mins before my set bedtime telling me to get ready. Ideally I should be in bed and asleep in 30 mins. I’m planning to go to bed early and get up early to do some exercise &/or blogging. I’m starting this new routine this Friday night.

Alcohol – I’m only gonna allow myself to have 1 bottle of wine every two to three weeks. No more drink than that for the foreseeable future. I’m guilty of ‘enjoying’ a few glasses (too many) at the weekends. I’ve only recently realised how much this combined with interrupted sleep is contributing to me being bolloxed.

Running / Exercise – I really really want to get back out running. I love it. It clears my head, makes me feel so much better. Having no energy and feeling wrecked really doesn’t help but I’m assuming when I nail my new sleep routine, energy will improve and so to will my running. Domino effect and all that. Also strongly considering joining a small local gym to help me get my body fat down.

Eating – My eating isn’t that bad actually. I eat well, healthy. However, recently I’ve gone nuts on chocolate. That’s my achilles heal. Need to change that and just get back to eating the way I was just after getting my stents in. This can be easily achieved (I feel).

Look, I’m still a novice in my role as a #SAHD and I’m making mistakes. But I’m cool with that cause I can see them (admittedly always after I’ve done them!) and I’m learning from them ( I think).

What I think is crazy is the fact that two issues we normally take for granted – sleep & alone time – can cause so much mess. They can be powerful friends or equally powerful enemies.

I’d love to hear – actually scrap that – I NEED to hear have you experienced this? Or anything like it? If so, what did you do to get back on track? Did it take long to rectify? Please comment below as I need to learn from others.

Vent over – pheeewwwww, now that feels great! Now where’s me pillow 🙂


Delighted to Link up with….

Pink Pear Bear
Reflections From Me
Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs
3 Little Buttons
Twin Mummy and Daddy

 

Quite Frankly She Said Sunday Best

 

34 Comments Add yours

  1. I could have written this! I’m right there with you at the moment and I blame the exact same things…lack of sleep/broken sleep, and no me time. But also no time to think of when I could possibly actually make time for “me time”?! :/ I feel like I’m juggling a million balls and Im about to drop all of them…I need to pick a ball to put down, but I struggle with that massively.
    I am going to check out Headspace though, it sounds like it might be something helpful! I hope you figure it out and make things work better for you. Thanks for joining us at #sundaybest, hope to see you again tomorrow x
    Hayley McLean would luv you to read…Top Tips For Disneyland Paris Part 2My Profile

    1. The one thing I’ve learned is we’re defo not alone Hayley. But thank you for letting me know I’m not the only one feeling like this. I’m happy to say, I’m a hell of a lot better since writing this post and am training and back running which I’m loving. Also the small matter of our wedding in 6 weeks time which is taking up a lot of time but we can’t wait. Do check out the Headspace app, I think it’s great. Thanks for commenting. Regards, Ross #SundayBest

  2. Chloe says:

    Hi, great post and no doubt many others share some of the same problems. It’s great that you finish ed on a positive note. I used my Fitbit to reschedule my sleep routine. I now listers to its prompt about my windown time and it’s helped me, Chloe #SundayBest

    1. Hey Chloe. Yeah I think the positive ending was a must as I was writing the post. So you feel the Fitbit sleep schedule has helped, thats great. Would you believe I broke my Fitbit since writing this post so it’s the one part of my plans which hasn’t exactly gone according to plan haha!! Thanks a million for reading. Regards, Ross #SundayBest

  3. Nige says:

    Super post know how it feels the twins come into our bed every night lol I don’t care though I’m sure you will get back blogging soon Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

    1. Cheers Nige, yeah it’s just a phase & it’ll pass. In fact, it already passing! Will defo be back, chat soon. Regards, Ross #ThatFridayLinky

  4. Sorry, I don’t have any advice because I have the same problem here. I work, so I do get adult time, but never get a sleep straight through and I have to negotiate hard to get any me time. They grow up so fast though, so I expect when they don’t need us 24/7 anymore, us parents will all be complaining about what to do with ourselves. Thanks so much for linking up to the #DreamTeam.
    Annette, 3 Little Buttons would luv you to read…#HappyLittleButtons Advent Round UpMy Profile

    1. I absolutely agree with you. That time will come and will come way too soon so on one hand I’m telling myself that and on the other I saying ‘just need some sleep!’. You never miss something until it’s gone right? Since posting this, I’m more focused. More on top on things. Blogging has done that as before all those words would still be running around my head but now they are not – happy days! #DreamTeam

  5. Can totally relate to this Ross! By God, the sleep deprivation is a killer isn’t it?!
    The night time bed hogging is a toughy too, and that’s just the hubby! Haha
    I work from home and home school so it does get a bit hectic. The hubby is really good though and chips in as much as he can.
    I think all of us WAHM’s, SAHM’s & SAHD’s do an awesome job! High five to that 🙂

    Thanks so much for joining in with #MMBC. Hope to see you tomorrow!
    Jayne @ Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs would luv you to read…Turbo Trax Pro Race TrackMy Profile

    1. I think we do too being honest and it’s a tough gig! Trick is to get the sleep part right and the rest of the day will flow so much better – sounds easy right?! Ha, if only!! Fair play to you for doing the trio-at-home – and you still find time to blog, host a linky & a Twitter Chat, bloody hell that is impressive Jayne. Highfive to you! Will defo be back with you guys on #MMBC soon. Merry Christmas !!! Regards, Ross #MMBC

  6. Debbie says:

    Hi Ross, I wish I had the answers, but alas I don’t. And as for being a novice,? The only difference between a novice and someone who has been parenting longer is acceptance of the way things are (or more often, aren’t).But I did have one rule when the children were young and that was to take no crap at night! No crap at all (unless they were ill). Quite often it was a battle of the wills, especially with my daughter, but I was prepared to sit up all night to make a point and it paid off in the end.

    Take that time out, get back to running, think positive and know that you are not alone and before you know it you’ll be feeling on top o the world again!

    Thank you for linking up to the #MMBC.

    XX
    Debbie would luv you to read…Monday Morning Blog Club 12/12/16 And Twitter ChatMy Profile

    1. Nice one Debs, thanks a million for that! I was in the gym at 6am this morning for my 2nd personal training session and I feel like a lord after it – a bloody sore lord but a lord none the less hehe!! Nip#1 is 4 1/2 so night time can be hit and miss so I hear ya. Fair play to you for sticking to your guns which might have taken some time but by the sounds of it, it worked. Thanks for reading. Regards, Ross #MMBC

  7. That Ukulele class sounds awesome!

    I totally feel like that at times and at the moment too. I am sow getting blogs written and feel like my home is a mess because I have xmas wrapping paper and boxes in my vision. I love Christmas but it is making my bedroom look like a storage space for elves right now. I am tired too, so tired in a way I can’t even explain.

    So yes I am going to get energised, make some goals and make some time to do what I am procrastinating about.

    Good luck with your list, you need to make time for you!!!!! #mg

    1. The Ukulele class is deadly. Last time there was 18 of us which is great fun. Having said that I missed the last session which I’ll just blame on the Nips!! Best of luck with your list. For me, writing it down and reading it aloud which a great leveller. It helped me focus and so far I’m doing good. We are the same with the messy gaff / Christmas presents and paper everywhere. We’ll have a clean up job to do before Santa arrives!!! Thanks a million for commenting, regards, Ross. #mg

  8. Sarah (Mum x3x) says:

    It’s good you have a plan! I also feel like I’m stuck in a rut at the moment, I’m finding it hard to dig myself out! I should probably make a plan, too!
    Things will get better!!
    (– That Friday linky.)

    1. Hey Sarah, well they say a problem shared is a problem solved and since I wrote the post, things have genuinely improved. I can’t lie and say I’ve put all my plans in place casue I haven’t. But you’ve gotta start somewhere and so far so good. For what it’s worth, I’d say defo write out a plan – any plan – just something. It’ll get your focus and you’ll feel better. That’s my 2 pence anyway!!! Thanks for reading, Regards, Ross #ThatFridayLinky

  9. I hear you! Absolutely, this is me to a t. I definitely found that once I started running, even though I was stupidly tired when I set out, the more I went, the more energy I actually had . I need to get back into it, I’ve been banned til Jan due to injury but then I’m going to start up again as I miss it so. Thanks so much for joining us at the #bigpinklink and Merry Christmas from all the team!
    Louise Pink Pear Bear would luv you to read…Crafty Advent Day 15 – Rudolph CraftMy Profile

    1. Yes, I am not alone !!!! You are spot on with the energy/run, chicken & egg buzz. Having zero energy is a real ‘get-up-and-go’ killer but just getting out for that first run helps & then doing it consistently will give you more energy. Hope you get back into it and your injury clears up soon. Thanks a million for hosting and Merry Christmas right back at the whole #BigPinkLink crew! Ross.

  10. oh mate I feel ya! I never have time to do anything, its all washing up, sterilising, doing washing, cleaning, feeding Ben, blogging (or attempting to) and although Ben sleeps well; I don’t! my PND makes it be like midnight at the earliest that I fall to sleep and then I’m tossing and turning and having crazy dreams and by 6am I’m disturbed by hubby crashing around and then the next two hours are dosing in and out so although I get 6 hours, they are not 6 good hours.
    I don’t think ive washed my hair since Saturday either which means I can fry an egg on it as its that greasy haha! #MMBC

    1. Haha, I hear ya Mrs Mummy!! Before becoming a SAHD, ignorance was bliss. I had no idea or clue but now it’s safe to say I’m a changed man!! I’m permanently wrecked now – how’s that for a change hehe!!! I have to say though, my plan is starting to really take effect which I’m delighted with so hopefully you can get time to wash your hair (as nice as greasy eggs sounds!!!!) and your sleep patterns improve. Thanks a million for relating & commenting. Have a very Merry Christmas & New Year. Regards, Ross #MMBC

  11. Claire says:

    I totally hear you, you are not alone! I love that you finished this on a positive note, though. Lately, I’ve been struggling to stay out of depression, due to just about everything you can imagine going wrong this year. But finally, we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I had my first ‘clear-headed’ day yesterday actually and it felt wonderful. I felt like myself again and it helped me see that I could start moving forward again. Focusing on the positives is definitely one of the best things to help, and it sounds like you’re doing a great job! xx #bigpinklink

    1. Hey Claire, as someone who has had two bout of depression in my twenties (I only went public with it yesterday for the first time ever, you can read about it here if you’d like http://apalershadeofbeauty.com/featured-friday-the-stented-papa/), focusing on one goal – no matter what that goal happens to be – is crucial. And once you achieve that goal, you feel bloody powerful and hungry to achieve another goal and then the positive cycle kicks in. Then the light at the end of the tunnel becomes so much clearer. Great to hear you’ve had a ‘clear-headed’ day. Let that be your catalyst. Thanks for reading, best of luck. Regards, Ross #BigPinkLink

  12. Rach says:

    This is a great post and something that resonated with me big time. I’m not on top of anything at the moment and I don’t seem to have the desire to be on top of things either. Weird. Looking forward to a new year (for me to once again put things off!). #dreamteam

    1. Thanks a million Rach, glad you can relate! Get your pen & paper out and write down everything good & bad. You’ll feel so much better for it. I’ve actually had a great week since posting this and I’m nailing parts of my list. Not everything but feck it, Rome wasn’t build in a day and all that shite 🙂 Hope your desire comes back and you get rocking. Thanks for popping by. Regards, Ross #DreamTeam

  13. Rebecca says:

    Love the post! Good suggestions! Coming in here from “over the pond”, Michigan, USA A.K.A. exhausto-land. Where I live, mothers in general are supposed to be child-centered, perfect home keepers, home cooks, well groomed and working full-time with lovely, genuine smiles radiating happiness and blessings to all. What smock! I’m a recent SAHM, one year post cancer treatment and proud of her just turned two year old and just turned three year old. Its been a long, hard road with the cancer and somewhat emotionally harder now that I’m done with the treatments than during them. Though I’m overjoyed to be in remission and given the gift of being able to stay home with my babies, boy ole’ boy, I’m super tired! To the point where I’m crashing in during the weekends when my husband’s home, at least when I can sleep, that is.. my sleep cycle is so messed up! Talk about a bad cycle for everyone there! Even my hubby, who can be a bit unobservant, noticed I’ve been “sick” every weekend for almost a month now. Hmm, to be brutally honest, I’ve enjoyed the extra time alone. But in contrast, I’ve also been more down feeling this past month than previous. Well, time to grab the bull by the horns! I figure lack of sleep can contribute significantly to feelings of depression. Lack of personal, meaningful socialization can also contribute to it. So, my hubby has agreed to put both kids to bed by 9 two nights a week, and I’ll do the same. On the nights where he puts the kiddos down, I’ll go to bed at the same time. That way, if one (or two) gets up, I’ll get up with him/them. And vice-versa. And no more kids in bed! Floor or each their own bed! Usually the wake-up night games start about 3 A.M. so we’re hoping this plan will get each of us at least 6 solid hours of unbroken sleep. And like you, time for me to not only keep a bedtime but a wake up schedule as well! I hope this will get me back into the gym too. And we’ve been scheduling a babysitter for us to have a date together during the work week. We go play darts, billards, indoor golf, etc. That has helped lots and I’m hoping the new sleep schedule (once everyone catches on) will help my health and also help fight the blues. Domino effect…

    1. Hey Becca, great to have someone so far away from Dublin reading & commenting on my post, happy days! Jesus, the way you describe how the Mums are suppose to be, it sounds like you could be describing the movie ‘The Stepford Wives’!!!Being a SAHM / SAHD is the busiest job in the world. Don’t know about you but I’m doing a 17 hour day min each day with little to no breaks! But I’m not complaining, it’s what I wanted but I hear ya, it is bloody tiring for sure. Add being in remission too, I tip my hat at you. Wow. I’ve some to the realisation that lack of sleep contributes to everything. Like you say, it’s the domino effect. Get enough and you day flows as close to perfect as possible. Don’t get what you need and boom, the day from hell is never too far away. It’s good you guys have a sleeping plan, I hope you can follow through with it & with 6 hours of proper sleep, you should notice your energy levels increasing over time. Eating correctly is also a massive part of it. Only yesterday I signed up to a 12 weeks personal training programme in a near by gym and have my consultation Monday morning. So I’m delighted with that. Commitment & a plan will hopefully be the key. The glass is always half full. Thanks so much for your comment. Regards, Ross

  14. Ross, you are echoing the thoughts of so many of us but hopefully it will get better when you get more sleep. I hope that you find the time and the energy to put your plans in motion and it s great that you have a supportive wife who recognises that you need time for yourself too. You’ve struck a great balance between having a moan (which we all need sometimes!) and having a plan in this blogpost. Good luck :o)

    #MMBC
    Catherine @ Story Snug would luv you to read…Story Snug Advent: L is for Lucy & Tom At ChristmasMy Profile

    1. Thank you Catherine. Yeah, I thought I wouldn’t be alone in this one alright so thank you for confirming that! Sleep – or lack of it – is a demon. I’ve always been a great sleeper and that is still the case thankfully. That said, it’s a very different sleep. Thanks a million for commenting. Regards, Ross #MMBC

  15. I’m not a stay at home parent, but I feel the burnout by times too. My girls are now 5 and 8, but when they were much younger I started staying out one night, not “going out” just staying home until after bedtimes. The girls only wanted me to read and do bedtimes and some nights they were the most drawn out things. But if I wasn’t home there was no fuss and Dad could do it no problem. Now I’m taking a Ballet class once a week so that’s my “stay out” night and it’s so much fun! I’m glad you’ve identified what’s stressing you out and you have a plan! That’s half the battle for sure. Good luck on the follow-through and I wish you well on your efforts! 😀
    #MMBC
    Jessica Foley would luv you to read…Blog Update: 8 Months on WordPressMy Profile

    1. Thanks a million Jessica! I’ve started out OK, I’m not hitting everything I want to just yet but I’m confident I will. I like your idea and if it works even better and now you’ve got your ballet class so happy days! Nip#1 always wants Mammy to read her stories and it can really drag on sometimes. It’s just Nip#1 missing her Mammy! Thanks a million for reading. Regards, Ross #MMBC

  16. We’ve all been there! At least you have a plan. That’s always a good start! I love running too, especially when I am feeling crappy and over worked. Your plan sounds good to me – I second the early exercise. A morning run always makes my day better, even If it is a HUGE struggle to get up in the morning! After a while it becomes routine. Good luck!! #bigpinklink

    1. Serious positive vibes from you Lucy, I love it. Thank you! If I’m feeling anyway stressed, a run always sorts me out. Doesn’t have to be a massive run either and I love it when it’s lightly raining. I was always a morning runner but since Nip#1 started school it’s very difficult to fit it in these days so I have to find a suitable time now to do it with Nip#2 in the buggy. Thanks very much for reading & commenting, Regards, Ross #BigPinkLink

  17. Geraldine says:

    I’d imagine every parent who reads this can relate Ross. We’ve all been there. At the absolute end of our tether with tiredness and feeling like life is crowding in on us. It’s not easy with so many responsibilities of house and kids. Something always gets left behind. We usually sacrifice ourselves first. But hey look at you, you have a plan. You know where you’re going and what you want to do. You’re finding outlets that will give you back a sense of yourself. Look after yourself and you can manage everything else! You’re doing great Papa!

    1. Now that’s the positive comment I wanted to read – #highfive for that!!! Before blogging all that would have been floating around my head with no where to go, I felt immediately better after posting it. From the moment I started being a SAHD, The Missus was always saying ‘You need to join a class or something like that’ and I was like, ‘I’m grand, honestly’. She was right, I wasn’t!! Now I get it so that is where the new plan will (hopefully) come in. Thanks for reading & commenting Geraldine, chat soon, Ross.

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