Welcome to ‘He Said / She Said – The Bloggers Ed’
Myself & The Mrs. are sooooooo excited to kick off our new ‘He Said / She Said‘ series! We’ve loved the response so far and I’m delighted to tell you we have the best of the best bloggers lined up over the coming few months.
Kicking off the series is Benny from Daddy Poppins Blog. So get your tea / coffee sorted and get ready for a great giggle.
Then you go and share the shit out of it !!!
The Stented Papa & The Stented Mrs.
My wife, who I call ‘The Bear‘ (find out why here if you want) is not a blogger, has no interest in blogging and was coerced into this.
She is a lecturer, both in her day job in college and at home. Oh, she’s well able to lecture (particularly on cleaning or the lack of cleaning or the standard of the attempted cleaning).
Being a lecturer she is up to her eyes in corrections at this time of year. Something neither her nor I had thought of when I got her to agree to be part of The Stented Papa’s ‘He Said / She Said‘ series.
Not only part of it mind you, but the flagship post (disregarding the fact that the guys have been giving their two cents on The Stented Papa for some time), I’m talking ‘flagship’ as in the first ‘guest couple‘ to do it. (Daddy Poppins)
As I said to Ross, I’m up for doing it I just have to get the answers out of my ‘non blogging’ wife. So, with the deadline looming and nothing as yet from her, not even a topic picked!! And bearing in mind that I wanted this flagship post to be akin to the first sailing of a majestic Scandinavian cruise liner that does it all (I’m talking; Northern lights, whale watching, jacuzzis and free booze) rather than the first sailing of the Titanic. So I cornered her; kids in bed, wine in hand, several glasses in (in fact) and fired questions at her. It’s the only way I’d get the ‘She Said’ portion of this post ready in time. So, with that in mind ‘She Said‘ is more of an interview with all the relevant info.
So, which ‘He Said / she said’ topic did ‘we’ pick?!
Cleaning of course. What else! And why pick cleaning? Well because;
- It’s one of the biggest mismatches in our relationship
- To make it interesting for the reader, and
- To stir things up and have a bit of craic!
HE Said / SHE Said …’CLEANING’
I’m all for living somewhere clean, I like things tidy but I understand you have to live your life and that means mess (especially when you have kids). What I’m not ‘all for’ is constantly cleaning and having a lovely house but no life.
I call that the ‘good room syndrome’ and I think anyone that who’s grown up in Ireland (and I presume the UK too) either had or knew someone that had ‘a good room’, you know what I mean.
The untouched room with all the ornaments, family photos, cushions and doilies and the like (the room that auntie Margaret would be ushered into for tea and cake on her annual visit). It was an 80’s thing I think. So, what’s the equivalent these days? The mmmm, 10’s?….
(*side note: what do you call this decade? We grew up in the 80’s, 90’s, then it all went a bit pear shaped on the ‘decade naming front’. What were the 00’s supposed to be called? My mother always said it was the noughties but she meant Naughty(s) because she can’t resist a good pun either)
Anyway, after that mad tangent I digress.
In, mmmm, let’s call it ‘this day and age’, people don’t have ‘a good room’ anymore. They have ‘a good house’, you know what I mean. A home that’s been cleaned to within an inch of its life providing the owners of said home with no life. I think social media has brought ‘keeping up with the Jones’ to a whole new level. With people portraying themselves as living in a home straight out of a Hello magazine photo shoot. Ladies and gentlemen, even the people in the Hello photo shoot don’t live in a home like the Hello photo shoot. Get real.
So, my attitude to cleaning …..is get it done, get it done quickly and use your time enjoying yourself and your kids. Life is for living not cleaning. When both of us were working, we paid someone to clean our house for a few hours one day a week. It made sense and backed up the above thoughts on cleaning. I mean why would I work all week and then come home to spend time cleaning rather than being with the kids? If we were working to make money surely it was practical to use some of this money on a cleaner?
However now that I’ve become a stay at home dad we still employ this person. I’m going to tell you that the reason for this is that it’s still more important to have quality time with the kids than to spend all the hour’s god sends cleaning. My wife however is most likely going to infer that without this person the house would be in a state. That quality time doesn’t come into it and that it’s the fact that I don’t have the ability to clean properly that’s the main reason behind it.
I’ll put my hands up, I don’t clean as well as my wife. She’s unreal at it. I don’t know how she does it, I mean things sparkle when she’s finished with them. I can’t get them to sparkle. Having said that I get them clean and am not concerned with them sparkling just that they are clean and no one is going to die from hygiene issues. I’m not one of these useless guys that doesn’t know how to use a hoover or use a mop and bucket.
I’d consider myself a ‘modern man’ and I think I get things clean to a normal person’s standard. My wife is just on a slightly different level. I’m not going to say she’s OCD (but I am going to drop the phrase casually into the post so that it may be in the back of your mind).
Here’s a typical scenario:
I’ll clean up after dinner; dishwasher done, everything away, counters washed, floor swept under the kids (and my) part of the dinner table and I’ll be standing around on my phone in the kitchen tweeting away (she says I’m addicted to my phone but that’s an argument for a different day, lets finish this one first) and she’ll come out and grab a cloth and start cleaning the counter. I just bloody cleaned down the counter!!
She’ll mutter something under her breath and then then say aloud, “Are you going to finish cleaning?!”
and I’ll be like “I am!!, Where’s the dirt?”
“Hello? here, here, here and here!! And are you not putting them away?”
Now I don’t know how she does it but she can find a speck of dirt on the tiles from about 50 feet, it’s like she’s made differently (her dirt finding abilities are akin to that of a shark’s ‘blood sensing abilities’). There’ll probably be dirt there, don’t get me wrong but I would term it ‘inconsequential specks’ rather than ‘real dirt’. Here’s my bone of contention, the kitchen is pretty god damn clean and I think any other person walking into the same room would say it was too.
I’m thinking of installing one of these machines in our house just to prove my point, but then again it would just be another thing to dust!
Daddy Poppins: So, what do you have to say about cleaning for the ‘He Said / She Said’ blog?
The Bear: Everything should be clean at all times!! like that’s going to happen. Except for the kids, they shouldn’t be clean, they’re kids, just some of the time, but then they should be cleaned.
Daddy Poppins: Is that it? This is going to be a very one sided debate if that’s all you have to say..
The Bear: I like things to be clean. What’s the harm in that?
Daddy Poppins: Do I have to say anything else to say about cleaning?
The Bear: Yeah, your cleaning is shit. It’s half arsed cleaning. I don’t like half arsed cleaning. You rush through everything just to get it done.
Daddy Poppins: That it?
The Bear: I wish you’d learn to clean the countertops.
Daddy Poppins: mmm hmm… (‘I do bloody clean them’, he’s thinking)
The Bear: Bathrooms should always be so clean that they shine.
*Daddy Poppins often hides behind the fact that he has to mind the child during the day and that the only opportunity to clean the bathrooms is when she’s asleep but all bathrooms are situated close to her bedroom
The Bear: I hate the dust and the hairs on the stairs and the skirting. You must dust the skirting. You never dust the skirting.
*Daddy Poppins uses a similar ‘can’t hoover the stairs because the child is asleep and would wake if he used the hoover’ excuse to cover himself at this point
Daddy Poppins: What do you hate cleaning?
The Bear: The one thing I hate cleaning is the shower. I don’t do showers, cleaning that is, like, you have to take a shower, obviously but cleaning them sucks.
So, who are you to believe?
Is Daddy Poppins in fact a lazy half arsed cleaner that hides behind the fact that he knows a professional cleaner will bail him out on a Wednesday? or are the Bear’s standards set way too high?
….As the old saying goes, “There’s 3 sides to every story; your side, their side and the truth”
Hopefully I’ll catch you around.
Daddy P & The Bear!
What a way to start our new ‘He Said / She Said – The Bloggers Ed‘ series off. B-A-M-B. The bar has been set folks & God dam it’s high!
So thank you Daddy Poppins & the Bear for being part of it. Absolutely loved reading this funny post and thank you for proving that The Stented Papa & The Stented Mrs aren’t the only ones who are worlds apart on thinking!! Just for the record, I’m the exact same as Daddy Poppins & The Stented Missus is the exact same as The Bear (even down to the skirting boards – sure NO body looks at them – right?!!!).
You can find out more about the life and times of Daddy Poppins, the Bear and the entire Poppins clan at www.daddypoppins.com.
He’d also love a follow on Twitter or Facebook or even Instagram. His site is all firmly tongue in cheek and he loves dad jokes and puns. So, if you need a laugh or just want a humorous insight into life as a stay at home dad in Ireland then check him out.
Coming up on ‘He Said / She Said – The Bloggers Ed’
#2 in the series is one of my favourite bloggers so make sure you don’t miss it because it’s the brilliant Dawn from Rhyming with Wine and Daddy Pig!
Fancy a crack at ‘HE SAID / SHE SAID – THE BLOGGERS ED’?
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