I’m coming out ….. As a Feminist

Men Can Be Feminists Too

That’s right. I’m coming out as a Feminist. Yep, you read that right.

Me – a man, a dad, a human being who thinks it’s about feckin time that the gender imbalance of power and order shifts to an level playing field for all.

Agh-fuckin-men to that.

wait, What? Why?

Stupid question man. If anything it should be ‘Why the fuck not‘?

For starters…

I’m a full time Stay at Home Dad! I’m one of a few Dads (in Ireland anyway) trying to disrupt the traditional ‘status quo‘ of man’s places being the earner while Mum is tied to the kitchen sink.

“What a load of out-dated bollox” – The Stented Papa, Today, 2017.

I’m the one who looks after our children while my amazing wife goes to work – and sweet Jesus, does she work. She’d put any man to shame, fact.

Im coming out as a feministUnique

I could never work to the level Mel does. That’s not a defeatist attitude, it’s just reality. I’m good but holy shit, she is ridiculous! Watching her in full flow is an amazing spectacle to witness.

To me, Melzer is a ‘1%er‘ – multi-tasking woman who’s literally 10 steps ahead of others – she also happens to work in I.T., which I don’t think I need to point out is an unbelievably male dominated industry.

But I’ll tell ya, thank fuck I’m not a jealous dude cause if I was I’d be screwed!!

Mel is like the cream of the crop, she rises to the top. She’s on a plane to higher places and her career deserves everything coming her way cause she works her ass off like no body else I know.

…and ya know what, I absolutely love ‘it‘.

It‘ being our work/life balance. Our situation which we’ve agreed on and works for our family.

We are cogs working together to make our wheel spin (as) effectively & (as) smoothly as possible (within reason of course).

The Stented Missus has an amazing job and trust me, without it, The Stented Papa simply could not do what I’m doing.  At the same time, and as Melzer has said to me numerous times, she couldn’t do what she does if I wasn’t doing what I’m doing*.

See, cogs in the wheel, we’re just cogs in the wheel.

Harmony. Cohesive movement. Poetry in motion. Partners. Team. Solid. We are Family. We are Good’s.

* (That said, we are very aware this is simply not the case for a hell of a lot of families and as such we consider ourselves very fortunate).


Well yeah – a bloody huge lotto win thank you very much!

….Meanwhile, back in the real world (bar a Lotto win, did I mention that already?!) I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Mel loves her job. She’s putting her stamp on what she was hired to do. Job satisfaction is high. It challenges her and she loves that. And more to the point, she’s bloody good at it.

While Melzer is working, I’m the one who wakes the nips up (generally), I get them ready for their day, I make their breakfast/dinner/tea. I do the school runs and sports drop off’s etc etc.

That’s my Job. That’s what I do. That’s what makes me tick……And I absolute feckin love it.

Im coming out as a feminist

So why wouldn’t I want equal treatment for my wife in the workplace – across all levels? Damn right I do (what husband wouldn’t?).

In her current employment she (thankfully) has this. It’s a massive USP of the company. But that’s today, it wasn’t always that way. She’s had to work hard since entering this industry to get to where she is today. I’m talking about years of work in the I.T. industry which has ensured she her seniority in her chosen industry. Now that’s ‘girl-power‘ & i.m.o., it deserves respect.

Why wouldn’t I want other women who are at the top of their game in whatever industry they work in to benefit from a level playing field? To be paid the same as their male piers and to be looked upon with the same level of respect that men in senior positions receive automatically?

Fucking sure I do – and you should too.


It’s a clear as the nose of your face – it’s proper order. It’s the correct mindset. It’s what is (long over) due and it’s what should be the norm. Pull your head out of your arse sunshine. We live in the 21st century, not the feckin dark ages.

But more importantly, I’m a father to two amazing little girls (Nip #1 is 5 & Nip#2 is 2). And as much as I want them to stay my little girls forever, evolution has other ideas.

What I do want is for them – when the time comes – is to have the confidence to know when they are applying for a certain position of employment, they have every bit as much a chance as the bloke interviewed before & after them. And not because they have boobs & legs. Because it’s based on their skill, experience, qualifications and because they have the correct credentials for the role. Equal opportunities.

Im coming out as a feministWishful thinking?

Perhaps, and time will tell. There is a movement of change happening right now – albeit at a ridiculously slow pace.

However, and based on this, I’m confident that in tomorrow’s world the mindset will change. The default will should be what I seek for my girls. I hope.

Level playing field. Equality. Fairness. Proper order. Please.

Linking up with….

DIY Daddy
3 Little Buttons
Run Jump Scrap


6 Comments Add yours

  1. Nige says:

    I’m not holding my breath but hopefully things will change Thank you for linking to #ThatFridayLinky Please come back next week
    Nige would luv you to read…Father And Son Bonding:My Sunday PhotoMy Profile

    1. We live in hope Nige. I hope it will change too – and for the better. Cheers man. #ThatFridayLinky

  2. Rich Sayers says:

    I agree mate! I hope things change by the time my little girl is grown up so that she can do whatever she wants to without judgement
    Rich Sayers would luv you to read…The Vasectomy Chronicles 2 – The consultationMy Profile

    1. Cheers Rich. That’s is exactly my wish. Equal playing field. Same rules for all. Hopefully that will be the default by the time our girls have grown up. Thanks for reading man. Ross.

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