He Cleans / She Cleans

He Said She Said New Logo

So really this is #3 in the ‘He Said / She Said’ series albeit with a slight change to the title as you can see. Cleaning – agh now. Will the place ever be truly clean, will it? Hummmmm…..

Fizzling Fireboxes, let’s do this 🙂


Nutshell version: When we first started dating, I was living in Wexford and The Missus was living in Cork. Bit of a trek to see each other so we’d take turns driving up and down to each others houses. The Missus was on the way to me so naturally I had to clean the gaff before she arrived….or did I?!


Man from MarsHe Said: Now in all fairness – I need to make two things crystal clear:

(i) I do not see dirt / dust unless it’s poking me in the face

&

(ii) I do not see dirt / dust unless it’s poking me in the face

Ya with me?!!!

So, picture it – new GF – impressions must be made – drinks must be bought – food must be stocked up – clothes must be washed – & the gaff must be cleaned etc etc.

It was early-ish and The Missus was coming up to me on Friday for the weekend. So muggins here went to town on the cleaning of the gaff. Lumpy (our dog at the time) hadn’t a feckin clue what had gotten into me. Normally it would take an explosion of massive proportions to get me to move my ass and hoover and here I was cleanin my ass off. (I always find my buddy wine helps me to see (or not see in my case) the dirt while doing this btw).

Anyway, no joking, I hoovered, I cleaned, I polished, I washed the dishes, I mopped, I changed the bed sheets – the whole fuckin shabang yeah. Top to tail, I was delighted with myself. I knew what I was gonna cook for munchies and I had enough gargle to drown an alcho. Saddle me up and call me Shergar.

There was a small matter of me having to get a camera poked down me throat before we did anything else that day and The Missus had agreed to drive and collect me as I’d be on cloud nine for a while. So she dropped me off and we said our good-byes, see ya later, kissy kissy thing and off she went.

Or so I thought…..

At the time when I was collected, I was non the wiser but with time it all slipped out. She only went back to the gaff to feckin clean it ‘properly’ after dropping me off!!! ‘Huh?!’ I said, ‘Sure I spent like 3-4 hours cleaning the gaff before you got here. What cleaning?, sure the place is spotless’.

Em No…. it turns out it wasn’t 🙁

Skirting Boards yeah. Fuckin Skirting Boards!

Ya have to remember we were only seeing each other a month or two at this stage. So I said, ‘Sure nobody looks at the skirting boards!! Dust on them? You’re pulling the piss right? Sure next you’re gonna tell me that you look at peoples shoes too?!’ (She does btw).

Bit by bit, as The Missus pointed out parts to me that I had em, missed and she had em, well, not missed (for the record, she had zero wine). Only then did I see the difference – but not without saying to myself ‘FFS, No body looks at that shit!!) – well done, nice spot.

The Stented Wan 0 – The Missus 1.

We did have a great laugh about it when we eventually sat down – on the antiseptic foil she had wrapped the couches / dog / chair / toothbrush in.

Agh, young love wha?! 🙂

Woman from VenusShe said: So it’s fair to say that I was slightly OCD before kids – I loved nothing more than a tidy home. When I started dating Ross we were living quite a bit away from each other so we spent a lot of time travelling back and forth to see each other. Early on Ross had to go into hospital for a day procedure so he asked me to drive him there and back as he couldn’t drive himself. I was happy to do it although I did have an ulterior motive….. As soon as I dropped him off, I headed straight to Dunnes and picked up some cleaning products. I headed back to his place and spent the whole afternoon cleaning! I could have done more but I had to pick him up again.

I’m sure he thought “what a nutter” but I was very happy – in particular the shirting boards had about an inch of dust on them which was killing me for ages. I’m happy to say that my OCD has left me – it was worn down bit by bit, first by Ross, then our dog Lumpy, then Nip#1, Noodles the Toodle and finally Nip#2. I’d be exhausted if I wanted our house to be showroom perfect now – I’d rather spend my energy on the floor playing with the kids!

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