Handing over the reins

Hey, I’m Mel (aka The Missus) – we as a family are on this new journey and we are happy to share our experiences with you (warts & all).

We talked about Ross minding the kids full time a few times in the past and although he loved the idea of it, he wasn’t actually ready to do it. Fact is Ross loved his job and his Pubble colleagues so deciding to leave was a major deal. There were many contributing factors which lead to the decision – having 4 stents put in his heart was by far the biggest part however like most families these days we had other things to consider like the price of childcare, managing sick days, drop-offs/pick-ups to things like swimming/ballet lessons etc.

It’s early days so we’ve both a lot to learn about this but I can honestly say I feel completely at ease with this decision. As the main earner in the house I was always going to have to go back to work. We tried an AuPair for 2 months and although we all feel in love with her from day 1, she unfortunately had to leave us for personal reasons. I had just posted a job on an AuPaid website when Ross put this option back on the table – there is nobody I would rather leave the kids with. I trust him 10000000% so really its made returning to work so much easier.

Like any mum returning to work after maternity leave, I found it difficult and I am definitely missing spending time with the girls. I am a bit jealous that Ross gets to spend every day with them but on the other hand I love it. As my own father was never really present in my life, I really appreciate how hands on, loving and capable Ross is as a Dad and the girls are going to benefit from this so much.

So far so good really – I had to spend a week in San Francisco after starting my new job and Ross did an amazing job looking after the girls. We weren’t sure how it would go particularly with Elle who was still breastfeeding but truth be known my absence probably gave everyone the chance to settle into a new routine. By the time I came home, Elle was in a much better sleeping routine which is great for all of us. Ross started vlogging daily which was great for me and I loved watching his Home Alone Vlogs everyday.

Are there any challenges with Ross becoming a SAHD? Yeah of course there are but they really are minor. Initially I found it hard to let go and just leave everything to Ross, I would stick around the house and do housework but when I did let go I saw that he had it covered. Does he do things how I would do them? Absolutely not! Do I have to learn that it’s ok? Yep I sure do. Other things come to mind like….are the girls going to start picking him over me if they are upset/hurt? Maybe but I’ve had a lot of quality time with the girls during maternity leave and really being picked first is not the most important thing in the world. Lastly and probably the most obvious is the financial pressure – we are lucky that this is even an option but of course we will need to tighten our belts.

The best part of this change – Ross is probably the happiest I have ever seen him. He is not just looking after the girls but he is really looking after himself too. He has taken on all the advice given to him during cardiac rehab, he eats well, exercises and still enjoys the occasion bottle of wine ;o)

Our beautiful family


Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs
Rhyming with Wine

10 Comments Add yours

  1. Really happy that Ross has settled after his op.
    I can totally relate as we are a heart transplant family. My hubby had his transplant 22 months ago now at 34 yrs old. It hit us all for six, glad you have found a balance that works for you all 🙂

    Thanks so much for joining in with #MMBC. Sorry it’s a late comment, as on hols! Hope to see you tomorrow 🙂
    Jayne @ Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs would luv you to read…Mums That Mean Business – Amélie Renée DesignsMy Profile

    1. Ross Good Ross Good says:

      Wow, I am not alone !!!! But a heart transplant at 34? Holy Sh*t. That is massive. How is ur hubby now? Hopefully 22 months down the line, things are going well (for all of you). If he ever wants to have a chat with a fello cardiac patient his age, just email ross@thestentedpapa.com. No probs on the late comment, hope the hols are going great. Thanks a million for popping by. I just linked up again with #MMBC this morning. Thanks so much. Regards, Ross.

  2. Love this! My Hub would love to stay at home but as the main earner he just has to go back. I hate how stressed he is, but as i could never earn as much as him, its just not viable for us to swap right now. Maybe one day. #fartglitter

    1. The Missus The Missus says:

      Yeah we had to go with what worked for us so with me being the main earner and Ross having health issues, it was really a no-brainer. Although we ensured there was a proper ‘trail-period’ as we all know looking after kids is pretty much the toughest, most demanding job you will ever do, I wanted to be sure that Ross was really comfortable with it. #fartglitter

  3. Hi The Missus! I love how you’ve found a way to make things work for you as a family, and that it allows your hubby to spend time with the girls and embrace a healthier and more relaxed way of life. I can however totally identify with how tricky it must be to hand over the reins . My hubby has our two one day a week while I work and he’s pretty good in following any instructions that I’ve left, but that’s just it, there has to be instructions (for both our sanity I think!) Sounds like you’re both doing a fantastic job! Thanks for linking with #fartglitter x

    1. The Missus The Missus says:

      As Ross will verify I am a woman of many lists and am very keen on schedules, routines, calendars….. Ross on the other-hand is not. He is a grown man and capable of making good decisions (definitely not always in line with me) so I am trying hard to give him the freedom he needs to deal with the girls. Letting go of control is empowering, freeing and scary all at the same time. Are the girls dressed everyday as I’d dress them – No Is the house tidy in the way I would do it? No Are appointments arranged the way I would do it? No….but the girls are healthy, well and happy so that’s what I focus on now. It’s still very much a work in progress but I’m hoping the girls will learn a bit from Ross, a bit from me and come up with a happy balance. #fartglitter

  4. What an exciting and lovely opportunity for you all. My husbands father was a stay at home dad and I think it has helped make him the wonderful father he is. I imagine it was a difficult decision for you but it sounds like your girls are very lucky to have you both.

    1. The Missus The Missus says:

      As we mentioned we started it out as a trail run to see if it would even work for us. Being honest people keep telling Ross how good he looks so it really has done wonders all round. There aren’t many men who get to spend this amount of time with their kids so I really feel we are lucky. It’s funny though Ross now tells me how hard he’s been working (as if I didn’t know).

  5. Avatar Nikki says:

    Hi Mel,
    Love your post, I can relate to you a lot.
    I’ve been known to be a little ocd with how things should be done in the house or with my daughter. But at the end of the day they are not important at all, once the main things get done, dressed ,fed and school, and a lot of love and memories are had that’s the main thing. The house will always need attenting to and the kids might be in odd clothes, but once their happy that’s the main thing.
    Best of luck been a working full time mum again, and don’t be to hard on yourself, life does that to us enough.

    1. The Missus The Missus says:

      Ah thanks a million for getting in touch Nikki. Ross was laughing at the ‘little ocd’ part as that’s exactly how he explains me ;o) Sometimes it can be hard to drop that feeling of ‘need to clean this or put that away…etc’ but I’m learning to ignore it and just get down on the floor with the kids to play when I get in from work. I’m a work in progress but I guess most of us are, right?

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