Hey, I’m Mel (aka The Missus) – we as a family are on this new journey and we are happy to share our experiences with you (warts & all).
We talked about Ross minding the kids full time a few times in the past and although he loved the idea of it, he wasn’t actually ready to do it. Fact is Ross loved his job and his Pubble colleagues so deciding to leave was a major deal. There were many contributing factors which lead to the decision – having 4 stents put in his heart was by far the biggest part however like most families these days we had other things to consider like the price of childcare, managing sick days, drop-offs/pick-ups to things like swimming/ballet lessons etc.
It’s early days so we’ve both a lot to learn about this but I can honestly say I feel completely at ease with this decision. As the main earner in the house I was always going to have to go back to work. We tried an AuPair for 2 months and although we all feel in love with her from day 1, she unfortunately had to leave us for personal reasons. I had just posted a job on an AuPaid website when Ross put this option back on the table – there is nobody I would rather leave the kids with. I trust him 10000000% so really its made returning to work so much easier.
Like any mum returning to work after maternity leave, I found it difficult and I am definitely missing spending time with the girls. I am a bit jealous that Ross gets to spend every day with them but on the other hand I love it. As my own father was never really present in my life, I really appreciate how hands on, loving and capable Ross is as a Dad and the girls are going to benefit from this so much.
So far so good really – I had to spend a week in San Francisco after starting my new job and Ross did an amazing job looking after the girls. We weren’t sure how it would go particularly with Elle who was still breastfeeding but truth be known my absence probably gave everyone the chance to settle into a new routine. By the time I came home, Elle was in a much better sleeping routine which is great for all of us. Ross started vlogging daily which was great for me and I loved watching his Home Alone Vlogs everyday.
Are there any challenges with Ross becoming a SAHD? Yeah of course there are but they really are minor. Initially I found it hard to let go and just leave everything to Ross, I would stick around the house and do housework but when I did let go I saw that he had it covered. Does he do things how I would do them? Absolutely not! Do I have to learn that it’s ok? Yep I sure do. Other things come to mind like….are the girls going to start picking him over me if they are upset/hurt? Maybe but I’ve had a lot of quality time with the girls during maternity leave and really being picked first is not the most important thing in the world. Lastly and probably the most obvious is the financial pressure – we are lucky that this is even an option but of course we will need to tighten our belts.
The best part of this change – Ross is probably the happiest I have ever seen him. He is not just looking after the girls but he is really looking after himself too. He has taken on all the advice given to him during cardiac rehab, he eats well, exercises and still enjoys the occasion bottle of wine ;o)