He Said / She Said – Bloggers Ed #2 Rhyming with Wine

He Said She Said 2 Rhyming With Wine

The reaction to our first post in the Bloggers Edition by Daddy Poppins last week rocked. The reaction was brilliant and I’m delighted to say the quality of our guest bloggers continues so strap yourself in and sink your teeth into this cracker!

The Stented Papa & The Stented Missus

Say Hi to Dawn from Rhyming with Wine
He Said She Said Dawn from Rhyming with Wine
Hi I’m Dawn from Rhyming with Wine !!

Hi! I’m Dawn.  Thirty *mumbles* year old mum of two small humans.  

Rhyming with Wine is an ongoing collection of rhymes, mostly about the general silliness & hilarity of our family life …

Because “whine” rhymes with “wine”, in much the same way as “tantrum” rhymes with “vodka” and generally most things rhyme with “cake!”

A little while ago I was contacted by the brilliant (and may I say “newly married” – congrats again you guys!) Ross and Mel, to say that they were thinking of throwing their fantastic “He Said / She Said” series out to guest writers, and did I fancy it?

Did I?  Oh yes yes yes I did!  I hesitated for a second over the question of whether Daddy Pig (“Rather an Expert” at everything!) would be up for it?  Especially as we are due to move house in less than a fortnight as I type this.  Up for it he was though!

(We have ways of making them talk – see below!)


We went for “He Minds (the kids) / She Minds (the Kids)” 🙂  But as I’m the blogger of the family, this is a “She Said / He Said” version!!!!

Woman from VenusShe Said:

I once remember asking a friend while I was pregnant, how she coped with having two young children.  

The key,” she told me, “is to go out.”  

These tiny words have been my beacon throughout my child-rearing days so far.  

I have come to understand that no good can come from being in the house with small humans.  

The walls become bars. (Not the type that serves wine.)

Morning time:

We have a general routine of getting everyone fed, dressed and ready to wreak havoc by around 9am.  Then we do the going out bit.  Where is not so relevant as long as it’s out. Soft play, farm, feeding the ducks, park, picnic, aquarium, play date, playgroup, anywhere that small people can be small people and there is a fair chance that I might be able to find a coffee!

Lunch Time:

By lunch time we’re generally ready for home for something to eat.  At which point I will usually present the offspring with around 9 different food types in the guise of a “party platter“.  The offspring will generally eat one of the 9 items offered.  They will then wait for my exhausted backside to hit a chair of some description and immediately ask where we are going next.

We then have a stand-off which generally lasts a couple of hours where I try to stop them from killing each other, and play with their toys while I try to get some blogging important tasks completed.  A film is often invoked at some point which either sends them to sleep. (Winning at life.) Or entertains them for around 20 minutes before they ramp up the wanting of stuff to levels that require that we re-deploy the going-out manoeuvre.

We usually end up picking another slightly less time-consuming event from the list mentioned previously.  This takes us to tea time.

Tea Time:

Tea time is the hour or so where I try to prepare a meal, while the children both take it in turns to shout for random snacks (owing to the lack of lunch taken up).  All of these are declined by myself for the most part, unless I physically can’t take any more. In which case they end up with something which I try to convince myself could pass as 1 of their 5 a day (but comes out of a packet).

Activities at home:

Somewhere in the middle of all this there will have been an attempt of sorts at some reading / writing / craft / colouring activity.  Not imaginative play though.  I really try, honestly I do. But when it comes to drinking pretend tea or being a shop customer I have the attention span of a carrot.  My bathroom floor often needs to be urgently cleaned at that time.  Whenever that might be.  Imaginative play is territory of the in-laws.  They are awesome at that stuff!

Over to you Daddy Pig!!!

Man from MarsHe Said:

For the purpose of this post please note that Daddy Pig is not a blogger and has no inclination to “do blogging”.  He agreed to do this because otherwise I won’t feed him under duress on the proviso that all he has to do is talk and I will type…


Daddy Pig: Well they’re more disciplined with me that’s for sure!  Are you going to start asking me some questions then?

Me: Well it’s not really a question and answer thing.  It’s just for you to say how you mind the kids.

Daddy Pig: Whaaat?!!!

Well I don’t know how to answer that really.  I keep them safe, and they’re still here by the time you get back from work.  Mainly I just take them through to my mum and dads. Is that it?


What do you want me to do? Come out with loads of spiel?He Said She Said Daddy Pig

Well I don’t really have them very often do I?  I take them to the park and do stuff on their scooters don’t I?

*I blink at him*

Let’s think about what we do. We go through to my mum and dads and spend most of the day there and I get fed bacon sandwiches. Then I take them through to Grandma Chicken’s* in the afternoon and I get fed steak.  Then we pick you up from the train station and by that time I’ve normally been nagged and hassled to death and I’m glad to get rid of them.

(*Grandma Chicken is my grandma.  She has chickens.  Just in case you were wondering.)

I don’t really know what to say.  I don’t like having to think of stuff.

Me: But if you’ve got them and you have to actually look after them yourself?

Daddy Pig: One of my best ones is building a tunnel in our bedroom out of mattresses and they take a torch in and play.  I take them to the soft play at the farm too don’t I? Then we’ll come back and do some more playing.  I try to vac up and they try to help me by hanging off the vac lead.  Then I normally get that dreaded text from you to say that you’re going to be on the late train so that means I have to make them tea.  By the time I come to pick you up I’m pretty much mentally exhausted.

Me: OK, So what happens with food?

Daddy Pig: Erm, well I normally get fed!?  We don’t do porridge or anything like that for breakfast because that’s too difficult.  We normally do cereal or something.  I try not to give them snacks because I like them to eat their main meals.  For lunch they will pretty much always have a cheese spread sandwich and some crisps, and for tea you always leave us one of those microwave kid’s meals in the fridge for them so that’s it.  Bob’s your uncle.  They’re sorted.

Is that enough for the readers?

I like logical mathematical…

*2-year-old throws ball at my head while I’m typing.*

….You couldn’t even hit her head from there!?

Yeah I like questions.  Binary answers.  1s and 0s.  I’m not very good at spouting crap about stuff.

Oh I wonder if my Dad went to see that Hull City game?

(I assume from this that Daddy Pig’s response is pretty much over.  He has apparently moved on!)

Thanks so much to you both for featuring the hubster and I as part of your fab series!  We’re both (yes BOTH Daddy Pig!) thrilled to be included! :-0  x


I love it! This posts shows to perfection the difference between Mums & Dads’ minds – doesn’t it?!

Even down to how Dawn has broken the various parts of the day into segments VS Daddy Pig’s ‘I keep them safe, and they’re still here by the time you get back from work.  Mainly I just take them through to my mum and dads’.  Haha, brilliant !!!!

Personally, I have zero ‘rhyming ability‘ but Dawn can write rhymes like no other so go check her blog Rhyming with Wine out now!

(BTW – Dawn also runs a linky called #DreamTeam AND an Instagram community called #happylittlebuttons – give them a peek too!).

Lastly, you can also follow Dawn on all the usual social media channels – Twitter / Facebook / Instagram / Google +.

Thank you both – Dawn & Daddy Pig – for taking part in our series. #highfive


#3 in the series features a funny man known as ‘Joshuas Dad James‘ from A Life Just Ordinary so make sure you’ve added your email & subscribed to The Stented Papa so you won’t miss out!


Well then join the party – sign up takes 2 mins !!

Linking this beauty up with…

DIY Daddy Blog
3 Little Buttons
My Random Musings


25 Comments Add yours

  1. Haha! That’s brilliant Dawn. And even better now that I can literally picture Daddy pig saying all this. I am pretty sure that Mr Button would have said something similar and they would both be patting each others back right now laughing 🙂 Fab series Ross!!! Loving it. #Dreamteam
    Annette, 3 Little Buttons would luv you to read…Is It Possible To Inherit A Talent?My Profile

    1. Thanks a million Annette for loving the series and for commenting. Dawn’s post is absolutely brilliant, loved reading it. Not a bad first two weeks in the series that’s for sure!!! Chat soon! Ross #Dreamteam #HeSaidSheSaidWed

  2. The difference between the views is great fun (and slightly terrifying!) #bloggerclubuk
    Musings of a tired mummy…zzz… would luv you to read…5 funny little things about…My Profile

    1. It really is Laura!! Gas thing is, it is nearly always the same in the majority of households!! For me, that’s the beauty of #HeSaidSheSaid – we all get a giggle and then we relate the story to our own! Thanks for reading & commenting! Cheers, Ross #BloggerClubUK #HeSaidSheSaid

  3. Avatar Helena says:

    Totally agree with getting out of the house with children. In my first year of parenting I loved getting out and about but now with the two girls I’m unable to get out as we are also minus a car. #DreamTeam

    1. There is a massive difference in my nips if they don’t get out. Behaviour & attitudes can morph into completely different children!! As can mine as a result haha. If I don’t get them out in the mornings, I 100% make sure I do in the afternoons or visa versa. Thanks for reading Helena. Regards, Ross #Dreamteam #HeSaidSheSaid

  4. Thanks for sharing this with #DreamTeam and for all the far too kind replies Ross! You’re a legendary guest series host! :0) x
    Rhyming with Wine would luv you to read…#DreamTeam Linky Week 64My Profile

    1. You had me at ‘You’re a legendary guest series host’ 🙂 🙂 🙂 Nice one Dawn! #Dreamteam #HeSaidSheSaidWed

  5. Love this 🙂 Dawn’s full on break down, and then Daddy Pig’s “well I keep them alive” is a great combination haha
    Thanks for linking up to #BloggerClubUK 🙂
    Random Musings would luv you to read…Cell 7 by Kerry Drewery: Book ReviewMy Profile

    1. It’s what makes a great parenting family right? Being the ‘yin’ to your partners ‘yang’! Delighted you liked it Debbie. Thanks for reading. Ross #BloggerClubUK #HeSaidSheSaidWed

  6. What a fun series! I love Dawn’s blog, she has a great sense of humour which has shown through here in her guest post. And bringing daddy pig’s perspective into it is total genius! Thanks so much for sharing with us at #BloggerClubUK x

    1. Thanks a million Becky. Tell ya, each week is filled with brilliant tales that highlight the difference between two partners and how they see the same topic! Often with hilarious outcomes. I’ve been a fan of Dawn’s writing since I first started blogging. Love her style. Thanks for reading & commenting. Cheers! Ross #BloggerClubUK #HeSaidSheSaidWed

  7. Avatar Mama Grace says:

    This is hilarious! So the food comes from the grandparents and the prepared meals, when Daddy Pigs in charge. It’s great though, my husbands the same. I think it’s nice to have two different energies around the kids, they’re both needed and when one’s not working the other can step in. A perfect team. I have to get out in the mornings, or invite a playdate around too. Otherwise the days far too long. #BloggersClubUK

    1. I absolutely agree with you. Having two different but positive energies is a perfect balance for the kids to see & experience. As a FT SAHD, I have to fill one section of the day with something. Outdoor exercise of some sort or playdates etc etc either first thing or in the afternoon. But there has to be something otherwise we all go nuts haha. Thanks a million for popping by!! Cheers, Ross #BloggersClubUK

  8. Haha, this sounds so familiar. I went away for the weekend recently and yep he ended up at his parents and yep, I left a stocked fridge including microwave meals for last minute – ooops I’ve not prepared tea evenings!

    1. Hahahaha – that’s men for ya !!!!!!!! Have to say, My Dad lives 80 miles away so I can’t do the drop around trick but I can do it with The Stented Missus family but while I might pop around for a visit, I won’t go there with the idea of leaving them unless I absolutely need to. Having said that, I do question myself sometimes!!!! Thanks for reading & commenting (and for the Twitter follow!). Ross #Dreamteam #HeSaidSheSaidWed

    2. The hubby is about to be left in charge of the cooking and general “being me-ness” in our house for the next couple of weeks, Our fridge currently looks like the ready meals section of Asda. I have been told that he “won’t have time for any of that veg stuff” and that I “just need to get some trays of stuff that can go in the oven”. I have a feeling that the in-laws are going to have their hands full… 😉 x
      Rhyming with Wine would luv you to read…#DreamTeam Linky Week 64My Profile

  9. Avatar Nige says:

    Loving this series and dawns is great Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please
    Nige would luv you to read…My Sunday PhotoMy Profile

    1. Thanks Nige and I agree 100%, Dawns post is brilliant! Thanks for reading & commenting mate. Cheers, Ross #ThatFridayLinky #HeSaidSheSaidWed

    2. Aww thanks Nige! It’s a fab series isn’t it! x
      Rhyming with Wine would luv you to read…#DreamTeam Linky Week 64My Profile

  10. haha daddy pig sunds like Steve, with little ability to put into words what he does, even though he is a pretty fab dad! I loved this, as always she is so funny, and don’t worry Ross I can’t rhyme either, Dawn is very talented and funny, love her! Look forward to reading more of this fab series!

    1. Thanks a million Mac. Yeah, I’m a big fan of Dawn if I’m honest, love how she writes. That’s the beauty of this series & concept, we are seeing similarities between our guest bloggers and our own family members. We are all so so different in one sense yet so alike in another. It’s what He Said / She Said is all about! #HeSaidSheSaidWed. As always, thanks for your comments. Chat soon, Ross.

    2. I guess it’s a sign of being a good dad really – the fact that it comes without thinking about it makes it that much trickier to describe. 🙂 Thanks so much for the lovely comments both of you. *blushes* xx
      Rhyming with Wine would luv you to read…#DreamTeam Linky Week 64My Profile

  11. Thanks so much for having us over as part of this awesome series and for the fantastic intro! Those are some seriously lovely words! Thanks both of you. :0)
    Rhyming with Wine would luv you to read…#DreamTeam Linky – Week 58My Profile

    1. Absolutely Loved your post Dawn! Agh stop, you’re more than welcome and we’re delighted you’ve joined up to our series. Now go and ‘share the shit out of it’ !!!!!! Yeah baby yeah !!!! #HeSaidSheSaidWed

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