“We are at week 3 (already!) and it’s fair to say the first two guest bloggers post were a big hit! We are delighted with the series & reaction so far and this looks set to continue for the foreseeable future. Happy Days. So hold onto you shit folks, here comes #3”!
If you want to get involved just click this magic button and take your place
The Stented Papa & The Stented Missus
SAY HI TO james FROM a Life Just ordinary
My blog is a generally humorous look at my journey as a dad to a very active and cheeky two year-old, talking about all the ups and downs of looking after a small person! There’s occasional reviews, the odd rant and lots of amusing stories to be found if you read my blog!
SO, WHICH ‘HE SAID / SHE SAID’ TOPIC DID ‘WE’ PICK?!
I picked this topic some time ago – He Argues / She Argues – for reasons that have since become both distant and completely incomprehensible. ‘Why on earth would someone of sound mind pick such a topic?’ I hear you scream at your computer like a wild dog wailing at the moon. Beats me.
But here we go anyway…
For me, arguing is an art form best avoided.
It’s not really in my nature to argue with people. It’s probably a DNA thing, and is a general consequence of my horrifically level wave of emotions.
Picture a flatlining person lying in a hospital bed and the image will quite accurately reflect my emotional range:
I’m sure I can recall someone once saying I was dead inside. Although this clearly isn’t the case, I can see how someone would come to that conclusion!
The truth is I very rarely get annoyed about anything. I personally see that as a good quality, but can fully appreciate how that in itself could annoy people. Picture the scene, if you will.
An event happens at which something bad takes place. Everyone is rightly annoyed by it and looks across to me so that we can be united in our annoyance and rage. Except I’m standing there looking like a don’t give two shits. Annoying eh?!
‘RBF’ vs ‘RCGASF’ !!!
Some people have ‘resting bitch face’. I have ‘resting couldn’t give a shit face.’
Deep down I do of course give a shit, but somewhere along the line I have managed to find a way of not letting things get to me, or at the very least not let anyone else notice that things get to me.
But how, pray tell, does this relate to the subject of arguing, James? After all, we haven’t come here to listen to you rambling on about your poxy emotions, or lack thereof. Well, dear reader, if you don’t get annoyed about things it’s actually quite hard to argue about things.
To Argue or Not to Argue?!
When my very lovely other half and I first starting dating, arguments were few and far between. After all, life was full of joy and roses. As time progressed, we would have very rare disagreements that resulted in pretty low-key attempts at arguments. They always ended well, of course, and we moved on pretty quickly.
As time progressed further, and we didn’t always 100% agree on everything, Sarah began to realise something profound – I don’t really DO arguments. So she would end up in a pretty one-sided conversation, with me sitting there like a bit of a bell hoping upon hope that it would all be over soon, or that I’d come out with something useful that might actually remedy the situation.
“From experience, I can exclusively reveal that arguing about something you care passionately about with someone who isn’t saying anything / anything useful makes you much more annoyed than when you started!
Who’d have known?!”
Also, I have discovered, when one of the ‘arguers’ isn’t saying anything, suddenly their facial expressions take on a whole new level of significance. Understandable, given that there are no words to focus on!
So the slightest eye movement, brow misplacement, cheek twitch or blink can escalate a fairly simple argument into something akin to World War 3. So, along with not saying anything, my facial expressions now generally resemble a statue too.
I would imagine it is like trying to carry an argument with a slightly chubby, balding mannequin!
I’m all about the logic & reason and can generally come up with something useful after a few minutes thinking about it. But in the eye of the argument storm I’m absolutely useless!
….Now, Sarah isn’t one for writing essays in her spare time (far too busy wanging kettle bells around a park), so her section will be done in the form of a Q&A session.
Here is that Q&A session:
Me: How often do you find yourself in an argument with your delightful and charming other half?
Sarah: Hardly ever these days. I used to try in the old days, but I got bored of staring at a blank face with slightly rolling eyes! Then I realised there wasn’t really any point so I stopped trying! I don’t even argue with people at work anymore!
Me: Were you an argumentative person before you met James?
Sarah: Yes, definitely! I was always very good at winning them too and always had to have the last word! I like to think I was always in the right too!
Me: What would you change about James’ arguing style if you could?
Sarah: For him to actually say some words. Just anything! And for him to actually say sorry from time to time. He’s really awful at that, especially considering the number of things he does that he should be saying sorry for!
Me: Who do / did you most regularly argue with?
Sarah: My dad mainly! We are both quite similar in that respect as we both have quite a short temper!
Me: Would you rather Joshua grew up with your approach to arguments or James’?
Sarah: Somewhere between the two I think would be best! Although to be fair to James, he has calmed me down a lot over the years, so he’s not all bad!
So there we have it. Two different approaches, but we’ve managed to find a compromise somewhere – even if that compromise is that we don’t bother even trying anymore!!
THE STENTED PAPA SAYS
So that’s where I’ve being fecking up?! Don’t get involved! That’s it? That’s the magic bullet!?! James my friend, you could make money off that believe me!!!
Two lines in particular cracked me up!
- Some people have ‘resting bitch face’. I have ‘resting couldn’t give a shit face.’
- I would imagine it is like trying to carry an argument with a slightly chubby, balding mannequin!
If you liked what you read here, make sure to check James’s blog ‘A Life Just Ordinary‘ out.
He is also a co-owner of the very funny blog ‘You Have to Laugh‘ where I’ll be guest posting soon (thank you James for the invite!).
Thank you both – James & Sarah – for taking part in our series #highfive
COMING UP ON ‘HE SAID / SHE SAID – THE BLOGGERS ED’
#4 in the series features a blogger who makes me laugh and just like me, she is fond of an oul swear word here and there. It’s the amazing Lucy from The Mums Life and you’ll love her post!
So make sure you’ve added your email & subscribed to The Stented Papa so you won’t miss out! (that’s a plug…..yeah it’s defo a plug 🙂 ).