I’m coming out ….. As a Feminist

Men Can Be Feminists Too

That’s right. I’m coming out as a Feminist. Yep, you read that right.

Me – a man, a dad, a human being who thinks it’s about feckin time that the gender imbalance of power and order shifts to an level playing field for all.

Agh-fuckin-men to that.

wait, What? Why?

Stupid question man. If anything it should be ‘Why the fuck not‘?

For starters…

I’m a full time Stay at Home Dad! I’m one of a few Dads (in Ireland anyway) trying to disrupt the traditional ‘status quo‘ of man’s places being the earner while Mum is tied to the kitchen sink.

“What a load of out-dated bollox” – The Stented Papa, Today, 2017.

I’m the one who looks after our children while my amazing wife goes to work – and sweet Jesus, does she work. She’d put any man to shame, fact.

Im coming out as a feministUnique

I could never work to the level Mel does. That’s not a defeatist attitude, it’s just reality. I’m good but holy shit, she is ridiculous! Watching her in full flow is an amazing spectacle to witness.

To me, Melzer is a ‘1%er‘ – multi-tasking woman who’s literally 10 steps ahead of others – she also happens to work in I.T., which I don’t think I need to point out is an unbelievably male dominated industry.

But I’ll tell ya, thank fuck I’m not a jealous dude cause if I was I’d be screwed!!

Mel is like the cream of the crop, she rises to the top. She’s on a plane to higher places and her career deserves everything coming her way cause she works her ass off like no body else I know.

…and ya know what, I absolutely love ‘it‘.

It‘ being our work/life balance. Our situation which we’ve agreed on and works for our family.

We are cogs working together to make our wheel spin (as) effectively & (as) smoothly as possible (within reason of course).

The Stented Missus has an amazing job and trust me, without it, The Stented Papa simply could not do what I’m doing.  At the same time, and as Melzer has said to me numerous times, she couldn’t do what she does if I wasn’t doing what I’m doing*.

See, cogs in the wheel, we’re just cogs in the wheel.

Harmony. Cohesive movement. Poetry in motion. Partners. Team. Solid. We are Family. We are Good’s.

* (That said, we are very aware this is simply not the case for a hell of a lot of families and as such we consider ourselves very fortunate).


Well yeah – a bloody huge lotto win thank you very much!

….Meanwhile, back in the real world (bar a Lotto win, did I mention that already?!) I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Mel loves her job. She’s putting her stamp on what she was hired to do. Job satisfaction is high. It challenges her and she loves that. And more to the point, she’s bloody good at it.

While Melzer is working, I’m the one who wakes the nips up (generally), I get them ready for their day, I make their breakfast/dinner/tea. I do the school runs and sports drop off’s etc etc.

That’s my Job. That’s what I do. That’s what makes me tick……And I absolute feckin love it.

Im coming out as a feminist

So why wouldn’t I want equal treatment for my wife in the workplace – across all levels? Damn right I do (what husband wouldn’t?).

In her current employment she (thankfully) has this. It’s a massive USP of the company. But that’s today, it wasn’t always that way. She’s had to work hard since entering this industry to get to where she is today. I’m talking about years of work in the I.T. industry which has ensured she her seniority in her chosen industry. Now that’s ‘girl-power‘ & i.m.o., it deserves respect.

Why wouldn’t I want other women who are at the top of their game in whatever industry they work in to benefit from a level playing field? To be paid the same as their male piers and to be looked upon with the same level of respect that men in senior positions receive automatically?

Fucking sure I do – and you should too.


It’s a clear as the nose of your face – it’s proper order. It’s the correct mindset. It’s what is (long over) due and it’s what should be the norm. Pull your head out of your arse sunshine. We live in the 21st century, not the feckin dark ages.

But more importantly, I’m a father to two amazing little girls (Nip #1 is 5 & Nip#2 is 2). And as much as I want them to stay my little girls forever, evolution has other ideas.

What I do want is for them – when the time comes – is to have the confidence to know when they are applying for a certain position of employment, they have every bit as much a chance as the bloke interviewed before & after them. And not because they have boobs & legs. Because it’s based on their skill, experience, qualifications and because they have the correct credentials for the role. Equal opportunities.

Im coming out as a feministWishful thinking?

Perhaps, and time will tell. There is a movement of change happening right now – albeit at a ridiculously slow pace.

However, and based on this, I’m confident that in tomorrow’s world the mindset will change. The default will should be what I seek for my girls. I hope.

Level playing field. Equality. Fairness. Proper order. Please.

Absolutely delighted to confirm this post has been selected as Favourite post by Dawn from Rhyming With Wine in the #DreamTeam linky on the 23rd October 2017. Yeah baby Yeah 🙂

Rhyming with Wine


Linking up with….

DIY Daddy



3 Little Buttons
Run Jump Scrap


Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs

Life Is Knutts


29 Comments Add yours

  1. Avatar Hannah Jane says:

    Awesome post, and what wonderful words about your incredible wife. I have two daughters and I so hope that the world is a much fairer and equal place before they start they’re journey into the work place. Thank you for sharing with #bigpinklink

  2. Avatar Jaki says:

    Yes, yes, yes! To all of this! I couldn’t agree more. Just when I think this country is getting to grips with this equality thing, something will come along somewhere and it feels like we’re back in the dark ages. But you are spot on with this. Love this post. Sorry for the late comment, holidays got in the way, but better late than never. Thank you for joining in at #TriumphantTales, hope to see you again on Tuesday!

  3. Yes! I couldn’t agree more – and I think it’s so important for men like yourself to stand up and shout it from the rooftops too! I’m confident my husband feels the same about myself and my daughter… hopefully the future is a brighter place to be for our future hard-working, ambitious little ladies. #dreamteam

  4. Avatar SLOAH says:

    Preach. 🙂 I have one of each flavour and I sincerely hope they will both have the same opportunities as they grow up. #MMBC x
    SLOAH would luv you to read…Liebster Award; Brief History & Award NominationsMy Profile

    1. Absolutely agree with that. And I hope that you are right and in time that is exactly what they will experience. Thanks a million for reading! Cheers, Ross #MMBC

  5. Avatar Helen Gandy says:

    We live in hope that’s for sure. Great post, I really enjoyed reading it and thanks for linking up #bloggersbests

    1. Agh thanks a million Helen, so glad you liked it! Cheers, Ross #bloggersbest

  6. I knew this would be a good read Ross and it did not disappoint! Had to laugh at “Agh-fuckin-men to that.” I love the respect that you have for Mel and I think your two little ladies have a truly inspirational family that they will be so proud of. Very well said and “Hell yes!” To all of the above. Thanks for linking to #DreamTeam x
    Rhyming with Wine would luv you to read…#DreamTeam Linky – Week 77My Profile

    1. Thanks a million Dawn. What a brilliant comment. Ya know, I just hope by the time the nips get older things will be different for them. And not just for our nips, for all nips everywhere. “Hell yes I do” !!!! Thanks for reading & commenting. Chat soon, Ross #Dreamteam

  7. love this post it had me smiling all the way through it hopefully things do change #bloggingbest

    1. Hey Helen. I’m delighted it had you smiling and just like you say, hopefully things will change. Fingers crossed. Thanks so much for reading. Regards, Ross #BloggersBest

  8. right there with you man

    1. Deadly stuff Jeremy, good man. Thanks for reading. Chat soon, Ross

  9. Avatar Heather Keet says:

    Love this so much! I love that we are seeing the tides start to change in regards to “traditional” roles. How amazing that not only do you recognize your wife as the one who can support the family, but you are so confident in your role as the primary caregiver. I hate that “lost dad” role that we see too often on TV. #BloggersBest

    1. You are absolutely spot on Heather. The ‘lost Dad’ who hasn’t a breeze of what to do if / when he’s left with (his own!!) children is dated and out of touch with modern parenting. It also drives me nuts. Yet, you still see it all too often on telly. We are trying to change that image. My wife has an unbelievable work ethic and business mind. She is a flyer and is supremely confident in her knowledge & ability. For me, a woman like that is like a magnet, you are simply drawn to her. I love my role as a SAHD and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Thanks for your brilliant comment. Chat soon, Ross. #BloggersBest

  10. As a mum of 2 girls and 1 son I try and raise them to be aware of these issues and to never be defined by them! Let’s empower women by raising amazing girls and sons who respect themselves and women! #ablogginggoodtime

    1. Hey Mac! Well said, I couldn’t have put it better myself. Totally agree. Get the teaching right and the respect will be there. Thanks a million for reading & commenting. Chat soon, Ross #ablogginggoodtime

  11. Bravo! Bring out all your dude friends and bromances and let’s level it all for real! True Bravo! Thank you! #ThatFridayLinky xo

    1. Agh thanks Lisa!! I’m on a mission to do exactly that. Set the bar high and go for it! Thanks for reading! Cheers, Ross #ThatFridayLinky

  12. Avatar Nige says:

    I’m not holding my breath but hopefully things will change Thank you for linking to #ThatFridayLinky Please come back next week
    Nige would luv you to read…Father And Son Bonding:My Sunday PhotoMy Profile

    1. We live in hope Nige. I hope it will change too – and for the better. Cheers man. #ThatFridayLinky

  13. I was once told by a boss that mums should stay at home. I left these very quickly! Great post and fab dad and what an amazingly brilliant wife you have. Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime

    1. Well thank you Catie so so much. I am absolutely blessed to have Mel as my wife. She’s truly amazing. I can’t blame you for leaving that job – what a wanker? So glad you liked this post. Chat soon, Ross #ablogginggoodtime

  14. Totally true! Couldn’t agree more. Equality for dads also supports our role as guys at home. It’s a win for everyone. A little way to go yet though! #fridaylinky

    1. That’s the trouble, we do have a fair way to go to get equality for all. But get it right and it’s a winner for all. Thanks for reading Dave and taking the time to comment. Cheers, Ross #ThatFridayLinky

  15. Avatar Rich Sayers says:

    I agree mate! I hope things change by the time my little girl is grown up so that she can do whatever she wants to without judgement
    Rich Sayers would luv you to read…The Vasectomy Chronicles 2 – The consultationMy Profile

    1. Cheers Rich. That’s is exactly my wish. Equal playing field. Same rules for all. Hopefully that will be the default by the time our girls have grown up. Thanks for reading man. Ross.

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