Social Media – 5 Conversations to have with your child about it

Social Media Icons & Globe Image

Disclosure: This is a Sponsored Post. It is written by the staff at Laya Healthcare about social media & its potential effect on our children. Page Layout by The Stented Papa.

“This is a topic I feel very strongly about. If I’m brutally honest, it’s a huge concern for me regarding my girls when they get a wee bit older. I understand the benefits social media can bring while at the same time I’m fully aware of its dark side. I sincerely hope this post may help you regarding your own children and their use of social media. All comments are welcome at the end of the post – alternatively feel free to email me on if you have any feedback”.

The Stented Papa October 2019

Like it or not – Social Media isn’t going anywhere…

Social media can be daunting for many parents. With new apps and sites emerging daily, parents can often struggle to keep ahead of our ‘digital native’ children.

Regardless of the social media site or app your child is using, Laya Healthcare encourages parents to talk with their children and ensure they have these important conversations with them about using social media.

Social Media Image of Cyber Security Privacy Lock

What is the meaning of ‘privacy’ online?

What does it really mean when we select ‘private account’? Once we have selected this option, can we then share whatever we want and it will remain private? Unfortunately, this is not the case. The privacy option on most sites means that our information is a little less public, only shared with friends/followers we accept.

However, profile pictures, bios and usernames can remain public. Once we share content online, we lose control of that content. It can be copied, shared and edited by anyone we share it with. From speaking with young people across Ireland a statement heard a lot is, “I have 800+ friends/followers………… but my account is private”. As parents, we must challenge this belief.

Who should we accept as friends/followers online?

Most young people admit to having friends or followers online that they do not know in real life. This is not always negative or risky, but all it takes is accepting one unknown individual whose intentions are destructive.

To young people – the number of friends/followers they amass is a popularity contest (unfortunately) – with them accepting strangers ‘friend’ requests to look ‘cool’, get more ‘likes’ and have more ‘streaks’ (this is where you and your friend have ‘snapped’ each other, but not chatted within 24 hours for more than three consecutive days).

This idea currently dominates children’s lives and is often seen as a way of quantifying friendships. Discuss what it means to be a friend and how friendship cannot be simply measured by a snapchat emoji or streak score.

Social Media Icons

Most young people also admit that they have friends/followers they never speak to –they merely accept them to ‘creep’ on their account. By accepting someone as a friend/follower you allow them access to the content you are sharing, ultimately allowing them to ‘creep’ on you. Talk to your child about customising their settings, so they can still maintain their friends list, but choose who to share content – such as pictures & emotions (etc.) with.

In real life, we would never hand over the volume of information we hand over when accepting a friend online. Young people think it would be ‘weird’ if someone asked them in real life “Will you be my friend? Can I have pictures of you, your snapchat username, a list of your friends etc.”

They would never hand over that content in real life – and as parents we actively encourage and teach our children not to do so – yet that is exactly what they are doing when they accept someone as a friend or follower online.

Help break down the distance technology creates by talking about the reality of accepting friends/followers and how much content they are handing over.

How to protect our mental health online

Social Media Mental Health Image

Online we subject our mental health to pressures we would never subject it to in real life.

It is unlikely any young person would stand outside their house with a box of selfies, holding them up to random

strangers as they pass and asking them if they ‘like’ this picture or if they would like to comment on it. Yet online, children seek approval, validation and appreciation from strangers on a daily basis. While amazing positives can be gained from self-expression online, negative comments, dislikes and disapproval can have a damaging effect on our children’s developing self-esteem.

If left unchecked this can result in mental health difficulties such as anxiety, depression, self-harm, eating disorders etc. I repeatedly meet young people who will not leave an image on their account online unless it receives a certain amount of ‘likes’. Have a conversation with your child about what they share online and what they expect by sharing (e.g. likes, comments, more friends/followers). Discuss whose opinions online matter to them and why.

What is the role of the Bystander?

As parents, we all worry that our child will be bullied but very few of us worry that our child will be a bully or a bystander. These are roles we need to talk about. Most children, like us as adults, share, like and comment on images, videos and posts online, often without thinking of the consequences of those actions.

By sharing, liking and commenting we are creating a larger audience for the content. So, while your child may not be the bully, they may be assisting bullying by sharing, liking and commenting. To steal from Chilliwak –Raino Lyrics, remind your child, “if there is no audience, there just ain’t no show”.

How to achieve a Healthy Balance

Balance Zen Image

Like most things in life, moderation is key when it comes to social media. Young people often gasp at the thought of a ‘social media fast’, panicking about ‘losing their streaks’. However, they also often admit, they feel less stress, less pressure and less anxious, when they give technology a break.

Set simple rules that suit your family – for instance, no devices in bedrooms at night-time, no devices at the dinner table. We need to teach our children and young people to give technology a place within their lives. Talk to your child about times when it is inappropriate and/or unsocial to use their devices. Discuss when is okay and not okay to take pictures/videos.

Model good practices and teach your child that sometimes trying to capture everything with our devices means we often miss what is right in front of us.

We hope this conversations will help you and your child stay safe online. Discover the ways Laya Healthcare can help you live healthy by exploring their site for more information on health insurance options or to get a health insurance quote online today.

Laya Healthcare – October 2019

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Such good advice here. Whilst it will be a while until my little one gets social media/phones etc, I do worry about its affect on her.
    Jo (A Rose Tinted World) would luv you to read…The Power of Education – the Education and Parent Blogger TagMy Profile

    1. Thanks a million Jo. There really is some great advice in here and no matter what age your children are (in your case, young) – we as parents need to be always on top of social media and the latest trends & apps. Take ‘Tik-Tok’ for example. Thanks for reading & commenting. Cheers, Ross

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