He Buys / She Buys

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16th January 2017 – #DreamTeam crew has selected this post as one of their featured posts of the week and we’re dam proud to add our ‘Featured Bloggers’ badge 🙂


How do folks. We are back with the fifth post in our very popular ‘He Said/She Said’ series and this time it’s all about the moula and how we both think & deal with buying shit in ‘He Buys/She Buys’.

Nutshell version:

I’m not a hard sell – at all. If I like something & can afford it, I’ll buy it.  Whereas The Missus will agonise over a purchase for what seems like forever – she’s a sale persons worst nightmare – I should know, I was in sales for years before becoming a SAHD & I’d have hated dealing with her!

I’ve seen her take something to buy (for herself) and by the time she gets to the checkout, she’ll have talked herself out of buying it!

The problem is buying for herself – she buys for me & the Nips all the time.

Man from MarsHe Said:

So let me get this part out of the way immediately – I was a ‘QFA‘ for 10 years. What the fuck’s a QFA when it’s at home? ‘Qualified Financial Advisor’ that’s what. Ya know, good with money. Knows where to put it to make a killing, retire early and swan off into the sunset to sip pina coladas and all that bollox.

Expect I’ve none of that sorted out. Nadda, Zip, Fuck All. Ya see, it was a double edged sword – on one hand I was good at giving advice to clients regarding their Pensions, Life Cover & Savings etc etc but I was useless at taking my own advice. Fact.

Back then I’d no problem living above my means. I’m talking my mid 20’s to when I turned 30. Big Balls with the great job but loans coming out of my ass in secret. But it never bothered me.

I was earning extremely good money for a young fella. Great job with a great small brokerage and a dynamite mentor who is still a great friend today. I started off working there just gone 20, working part time hours  M-F 9-1pm filing away photocopied documents for their clients. Admin basically.

I worked my way to Junior Partner by the age of 30. I’d studied for my exams and then progressed into sales. The future was rosie. Then the big fat arse fell out of the financial world closely followed by the global recession. Well fuck, shit & bollox.

My problem was that as soon as I got a raise, I immediately got a loan. And I do mean immediately. Loved hearing the words ‘Mr.Good, you’re approved‘ – and Dick-Head-Dave here would say ‘Nice Nice‘ – feckin idiot.

I’d only have one loan cleared, and I’d go again. To buy all sorts of crap that I just didn’t need. To go on the piss and have a great buzz but with what to show for it? A big fucking monthly repayment with even bigger interest rates that I conveniently ignored each and every time, that’s what.

QFA yeah? ‘Qualified for Fuck All‘ more like.


Going back to the ‘I’m not a hard sell‘ part. When The Missus reads that part, she’s gonna piss herself laughing. I just don’t quantify things – I just see it, think that looks cool, convince myself it’s a good deal and boom, it’s a done deal baby.

BTW I don’t just spend for the sake of spending, I get zero kick from that. I do however buy fast when I like it. No messing – get in, get out, job done.

Say I saw an advert for a sports product for example, my buying process probably runs like this….

I’ll stand there watching, my eyes will expand, one eyebrow will raise, I’ll start nodding away to myself, I’ll say ‘Hummmm’ (a few times) – fuck it, I’m sold’. To add insult to injury, I’m a sucker for those ‘Only €17.99 p/w (for 3 yrs yeah)‘ or ‘Spread the cost in 3 easy payments‘.

  • Me:Yep, that’s looks the business right there, I could do some damage with that alright – jayzus, that’s it, that’s exactly what I need to get fit’.
  • The Missus:I know well you will, sure you spent more than 30 seconds watching it, you’re a site, the easiest sell ever‘.

She’s correct – as per usual – but she is correct.


In 2007 I bought a brand new car – Opel Astra 1.4l 3 door hatchback sports – brand new! Very proud day being honest.

I loved the look of it so I popped into the sales showroom, sat in the drivers seat to get a feel for it. I pushed a few buttons and thought, ‘Yep, this is it – this is the car for me’. So I turned around to the salesman and said ‘Have you these in stock? In Silver Yea? …. Ya do? Nice, I’ll take it‘. Went for a test drive and bought it – fact!

No feckin messing about. No long drawn out ‘will I? / won’t I?’ shite. I knew I wanted it and the test drive confirmed it. Sign here please Mr. Good. Done.


(a) In a previous relationship (around 2005 at a guess) we went to Andalucia to stay in the Marriott in a very heavily subsidised 3 day trip. In return we had to attend a 2 hour talk about their time share options. After initially telling them I 100% wasn’t interested in it – guess what?! Yep, Dick-Head-Dave strikes again – I only went & bought the fucking thing. Another loan for good oul big-balls – all €17K of it (if I remember correctly).

But it was cool, cause they brought over a free bottle of Champagne – winner winner. Yeah right. Monthly repayments of approx €370 before you got to spend your week there – for 5 years. In fairness the place was quality, it really was but want to hear the kicker? I broke up with that girl about 3 months later and couldn’t keep up the repayments. I had to borrow money to get out of the agreement after paying about 6 months and I never got to use the fucking place. Genius.

(b) In 2007, Myself & my brother went 50/50 and bought an apartment in Dublin. Off the plans. €380K for a 2 bed, 700 Sq ft., buy off the fucking plans apt. – Jesus H Christ, what were we smoking? But I have to say, it is a really cool apartment but after the arse fell out of everything, it’s not worth the paper it’s printed on. We are not unique here, so many fell into this trap.


Having been in sales for a good few years, I know the work that a sales person has to put into winning a deal. It is not easy. In fact, it’s bloody hard. It’s pressurised. Sales can be your best friend one day, and your worst enemy the next.

When I was in boarding school and was head of a dorm, I use to sell toasted sandwiches to each student at night for IR£1. I’ve sold videos & DVD’s. I worked door to door as a Kleeneze / Avon / Vodafone rep in Dublin/Wexford/Cork.

So I like to ease the burden on the sales person – their commission on a sale can range a lot – in some cases it can be all they get – trust me I know.


That’s how I roll. The Missus, it’s over to you 🙂

Woman from VenusShe Said:

So I think it’s fair to say that I’ve never been a great shopper, it’s not my thing and for the most part I don’t enjoy it. I think it possibly stems back to my childhood- I grew up with a single mum and money was tight. I was always keenly aware of the cost of things and it was rare when I could pick out exactly what I wanted. So when I do go shopping I turn every penny trying to decide if it’s a good or bad buy. That said like a ton of other mums, I’m ok with buying for others.


So I have this thing which Ross mentioned earlier in that I can walk around a shop picking up bits and pieces but most of them will be gone by the time I get to the till.

Literally I talk myself out of things as I walk around the shop which is handy when you pick up mad stuff in Lidl or Aldi like a welding kit that you know you just don’t need but it is more frustrating when you put back things that you actually need/want.

A great recent example was that I was in House of Fraiser and tried on a beautiful coat. It looked lovely on and was only €90 but somehow I left it there as I didn’t want to spend that much on myself! In that trip I bought various pieces for Nip#1, Nip#2 and Ross but nothing for me. When I did go back to the shop (weeks later) the coat was gone and I was disappointed 🙁


Ross has always said I’m a salesman’s worst nightmare and I have to admit he’s right.

I need to research what I’m buying and have all the details so I really don’t have time for anyone coming to the door to try to sell me something quickly. On the other side of that Ross was that person so he has a different perspective on it.

So one fine day a telecomms person came to our door trying to sell us broadband and Ross took him in and was all on for it. He did mention that I would need to look at it so by the time this guy got back to us I had a a ton of questions – I had taken his information sheets and written questions all over it – some of which he couldn’t answer. The poor guy – to be fair to him – I work in IT so I had literally pulled it apart.

He came back twice and in the end we didn’t go with it and as Ross said the deal was probably only worth about €30 to that guy – not great.


I went to buy a car and it took me 4 months to decide. I felt it was a big buy and I really wanted to be sure I was right in my decision (seems like Ross took 4 minutes with his!?!). So I researched, test drove, researched some more – actively asked mechanics, rental companies….pretty much anyone I thought would be able to provide insights. Even at that I struggled to make the decision.

I won’t even start to tell you about buying a house!!


There are certain areas I have no problem spending money – buying pints on a night out, getting presents for others or just general stuff for The Nips & Ross. That said presents can take me months to plan….there have been some gifts I’ve given Ross that have literally taken weeks/months to plan.


I think our different approaches to these things probably balance us out somewhat. Although I am definitely the money worrier, that’s ok, it keeps me focussed. Ross is always pushing me to spend money on myself and every now and again I listen….I should maybe listen more often.


Fair to say we are just a tad bit different with money?!


We can’t be the only ones – right?! What’s your mindset on this? Are you me? Are you the Missus? Let us know in the comments below folks!!

I love linking up with…

DIY Daddy Blog
Modern Dad Pages
The Diary of an 'Ordinary' Mum
Rhyming with Wine
Quite Frankly She Said Sunday Best
Reflections From Me